Question: My 5-year-old son is very afraid of costumed char- acters, including clowns. I'm concerned because he is in Pre-K, and the teachers have to take him to the director's office anytime there is an event with costumes. Everyone tells me he will grow out of it, but this is really affecting my son. I need help.

Answer: Your son's fears are common. Before children understand the difference between fantasy and reality, they can feel overwhelmed by strange creatures so much bigger than they are.

But there are things you can do to help calm his fears.

Here's what we suggest. With your son, put together a box of clothing, hats, props, and other materials for dress-up play. Toy stores, dollar stores, and yard sales are all good sources of items like firefighter hats, police badges, doctor kits, and various costume items. Play dress-up with your son whenever it feels like fun to both of you. (This is also a great rainy-day activity for a small group of children.)

Dress up in front of mirrors so your son can see you and himself putting on the costumes. As you dress up, talk with your child about what you're doing. Take some pictures of your son in costume, and talk with him about the photos.

Once your son is comfortable with the idea of costumes, gradually add makeup as part of the routine -- black patches on the cheekbones for a football player, whiskers and a nose for a dog, and so forth. Eventually, your son will probably be comfortable enough to add masks.

As your child becomes more relaxed with costumes, makeup, and masks, you could provide an opportunity for him to see someone familiar dressing up in clown makeup -- and then taking it off. Eventually, he might also benefit from seeing other children having fun near clowns, but allow him to stand as far away as he wants.

What we're advising is a process of gradual familiarization. Be patient -- and give your little boy the time he needs to get comfortable at each step along the way.