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Cat's Call
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
34 Blvd. of the Allies
Pittsburgh, Pa. 15222

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DEAR CAT: I've had three boyfriends for a total of six years with no substantial pauses in dating. The relationships seem to occur unintentionally, but friends say they are symptoms of a condition known as "serial dating." I could see myself ending up with my current boyfriend, but I'm worried that I'll regret not having any spent any time single and that I'm missing something by dating constantly. This summer he and I will be in different cities, and I want to take a "break," but he doesn't share my concerns so he might make it a breakup. If so, I might seriously regret my decision, but I also would regret not taking this opportunity to prove I can be single. Your call? -- BETTER OFF ALONE?

DEAR B.O.A.: 1) You're not a serial dater, you're a serial monogamist. Serial daters are usually relationship-shy, which is why they're always dating someone new (or several people at once). 2) Relationships don't occur unintentionally, you choose to be in them. 3) When you're in the right relationship you don't worry that you're missing something better. 4) A break and a breakup are the same thing. 5) Your desire to "take a break" is the most compelling reason to take one.

CAT'S CALL: If your whole heart isn't devoted to your relationship, why be in it?

DEAR CAT: My parents-in-laws recently acquired an adult pit bull who was raised by other in-laws. They ask us to come to family gatherings (with our two kids), but now I'm leery of the dog. We have two dogs, but this pit bull has never been around children, and I'm afraid one of my kids will make a sudden move that the dog won't necessarily like, and attack. I've heard about pit bull attacks for years, and I don't believe "it's how you raise the dog." My husband shrugs off my hesitation, saying he was raised with pits and nothing has ever happened. I consider him lucky! How do I express my concern about the dog without causing bad feelings in the family? -- BULL-IED IN PITTSBURGH

DEAR BULL: I love animals, especially dogs, but the breed is irrelevant here. Any animal can bite if properly provoked; it's a fact of life and a reason to respect dogs and treat them with kindness. Putting this dog in the company of two young unfamiliar kids is asking for trouble -- for the kids and the dog (If your kids smack the dog in the face and he reacts badly, you'll blame the dog.) Do your children truly respect animals and know how to treat them? Do they pull dogs' tails or toss food around? Even good-natured dogs get tired of kids' antics. Don't pussyfoot around this one -- just say you're nervous about a dog who has never been around children, and likewise you can't guarantee kids' behavior. Start by giving your kids a good talking-to about how to behave and make frequent, short visits with the dog and supervise every moment. You're all part of the same pack now, so you should get to know the dog, too. Do this right and ...

CAT'S CALL: It will be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.