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Cat's Call: Gift card for bride better than cash
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Do you want to ask a question? Send her an e-mail to questions@ catscall.com or write to:
Catherine Specter
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
34 Blvd. of the Allies
Pittsburgh, Pa. 15222
... or visit Catherine's Web site at catscall.com and make your own call.

DEAR CAT: With wedding season approaching very quickly, what is a respectable amount of money to give as a gift to a good friend from high school who I haven't remained in contact with for the past 10 years? I'm not able to attend her out-of-town wedding, but I still want to give her a wedding present. Another high school friend said $100, but I disagree. I think $50 is reasonable considering I've only seen her about five times in 10 years! Please let me know your thoughts. -- HOW MUCH CASH?

DEAR HOW: I agree, $50 is perfectly reasonable. But this is a wedding, not a graduation from high school. So it's not the classiest thing to send straight money. This woman is a friend, yes one whom you've barely seen for a decade but still someone important from your earlier life. If you're set on giving a purely monetary gift, give a gift certificate to a nice store (one where $50 may not cover the cost of a piece of merchandise, but it will help).

Cat's Call: You never need to break the bank to show someone you care.


DEAR CAT: I have been seeing this girl for a few months and recently I asked her to make our relationship more serious. She was surprised I felt that way and said she's not ready yet to date after her last breakup. She wants someone who will stick by her through good and bad and not end up hurting her again. Outside of a few minor issues (my natural sarcasm being a factor on occasion) I thought we were getting along great and I've been doing what I can to show her I'll be there for her. I have been willing to work on my issues and try to help her if I can, but she has become more guarded. Now, after the talks, I am stuck in the limbo of giving her space, which means waiting to see if she wants to keep trying or hang me out to dry. It's really hard to sit and wait while my friends say, "hopefully she will realize what she's losing." Am I just wasting my time? I have never seen these situations work. --CONFUSED AND HANGING

DEAR CONFUSED: These situations can work but she might need more time than your patience will allow. In fact, it sounds like timing is the biggest issue -- well, that and your mysterious "minor issues." If she became more guarded after you expressed serious interest, that's a red flag. The fact that she's still dealing with a breakup -- another red flag. It's great your friends have your back but heartbreak can blind you to new possibilities and she's probably unable to see the great guy in front of her. On the flip side, your allegedly minor issues might be major to her. Instead of twiddling your thumbs and waiting on her, use the time to work on your stuff. That way, if or when you two move forward ...

Cat's Call: You'll both be ready for a fresh start.

Share your call at Catscall.com! E-mail questions to: questions@catscall.com or snail mail to: Cat's Call, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, 34 Blvd. of the Allies, Pittsburgh, PA 15222.
First published on May 19, 2009 at 12:00 am