Q. I have a 6-month-old and my husband and I have never been out without the baby. We would like to do that but our friends say the baby should be our No. 1 priority and we should always have him with us. Are they right?

A. We think it's possible to make your baby the priority while arranging for some "couple time." And we further think it's good for a marriage: You and your husband are the foundation of the family, and that basic relationship needs to be nurtured.

We suggest that you ask family members, friends, and neighbors to recommend an expert baby sitter -- someone with a track record at dealing with infants. Interview a number of potential sitters at your home, making sure there are opportunities for them to interact with your baby. That way, you'll see who is competent and comfortable -- and who your baby likes. Observe who seems to grasp your baby's schedule, the "house rules" (for instance, absolutely no guests while baby-sitting!), and your preferences.

You can even do a "dress rehearsal," paying the sitter to spend a couple of hours with the baby while you're in the house. Arrange the time frame so feeding and changing the baby will be involved.

Then arrange one "date night" per week with your husband. You can start with an early dinner somewhere close to home. Be sure to give the sitter your cell number, the restaurant number, and a list of emergency contacts and procedures.

We think it won't be long before you'll have a few trustworthy and terrific sitters for your child. You'll see how well children adjust to loving caregivers -- and you and your husband can, for a few hours a week, focus completely on each other.