Women who walk into a car dealership don't appreciate it when a salesperson starts talking to the guy they brought along for a second opinion. And they don't like it when the salesperson makes a stereotypical judgment about things such as the color of car they'd want.

Although women buy 54 percent of new cars sold each year and influence more than 80 percent of new car purchases, many are uncomfortable with the process, which still can involve being treated differently than men or require awkward price negotiations.

Anne Fleming, a Bellevue resident and veteran marketer, is all too familiar with the issues, which is why she once hired a professional negotiator to buy a used BMW for her.

"My boss asked me, 'Why did you give your power away?' ... I managed a $30 million account, traveled around the world on behalf of the company and the question put me back on my heels.

"I had a business coach who said, 'That was a good question.'"

The coach introduced Ms. Fleming to Linda Babcock, a Carnegie Mellon University professor who co-authored a New York Times best seller on how women perfectly capable of negotiating things in the business world shrink from doing the same for themselves.

Reading the book "Women Don't Ask" convinced her both to take a close look at what had happened to her -- and to do something about it. About six months ago, she launched Women-Drivers.com.

The site offers vehicle reviews, automotive news, recalls, loan calculators as well as negotiating tactics and an interactive feature to help women find their own negotiating style.

"Readers answer a few questions and then get a free membership, which gives them an all-access pass," said Ms. Fleming, who is the site's president and CEO. "It gives them availability to get lots of our tools ... and gives them an opportunity to read or write a dealership review."

The reviews are perhaps the most important part of the Web site. They connect women to car dealers deemed "women friendly," based on actual purchase experiences of women using the Web site.

"Consumers can rate three experiences: the browsing experience, which is the most important measurable experience to a dealership; the purchasing experience; and the service experience," Ms. Fleming said.

To be recognized as woman-friendly, dealers must have at least three scoring reports from consumers who give them a cumulative rating of 3.8 or higher on a 5-point scale.

Dealers can purchase the data to get clues as to how they can improve their business, said Ms. Fleming, who sold her home to support the Web site. "It can also help them understand why women may not be buying more cars from their dealership."

The site has a list of the top 20 dealers, for this region and as far away as Cleveland, and there are a number of highly rated ones in the Pittsburgh area.

Heading the list is Jack Sullivan Chevrolet, in Pittsburgh. Others making the cut are Kenny Ross Chevrolet in North Huntingdon, No. 1 Cochran in Monroeville, Krebs Chrysler-Jeep in Glenshaw and Shadyside Honda in Pittsburgh.

What makes a good dealership experience for women? "Frankly, it's all about feeling respected and feeling understood," Ms. Fleming said.

Eye contact also is a big issue. If a woman is at a dealership with a man, she wants to be sure the salesperson is addressing her.

In 1991, Ian Ayers, an economist from Northwestern University School of Law, published "Fair Driving: Gender and Race Discrimination in Retail Car Negotiations," in the Harvard Law Review. His study of new car dealerships in Chicago found that dealerships offered substantially better prices on identical cars to white men than they did to blacks and women.

What should women -- or any consumer -- do when they are having a bad dealership experience?

"It's an opportunity to go to the manager and make a request, telling them, 'This isn't working for me, and I'd like to start from square one with another salesperson.' Or they should leave the dealership," Ms. Fleming said.

"The main thing is that they should follow their instincts."