Writing a resume is similar to preparing a tax return: Both processes require time, patience and attention to detail. You don't want to make a careless mistake in either document. In honor of tax season, here is an accounting candidate whose resume statements don't add up:

"JOB DUTIES: Temporary tax preparer: I prepared client taxes for the 2007 tax year. I provided superior in-person customer service using the telephone."

He may need a better definition of in-person.

"QUALIFICATIONS: I have a college degree and seventy years of experience with QuickBooks Pro software."

She's always been ahead of her time.

Following are some amusing number-related slipups:

"SKILLS: Written communication = 3 years; verbal communication = 5 years."

Are you old enough to work?

"ANNUAL SALARY REQUIREMENT: -$10."

Does that mean you'll be paying us to work here?

"DATE OF EMPLOYMENT: 2002-9999."

She's earned her gold watch!

"ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Graduated in the top 70 percent of my class."

Congratulations.

COVER LETTER: "Due to the large number of job offers impending, please label all correspondence 'Employment No. 1734.' It's the only way I can keep them all straight."

Perhaps you'd like to go ahead and evaluate those other 1,733 offers.

"EDUCATION: My GPA at night is 3.0."

Yes, but what is it at 8 a.m.?