DEAR CAT: Last December my ex-boyfriend and I booked a vacation for this April. The trip is nonrefundable (of course!). However, we broke up in January, and we've been trying to figure out who should take the trip. We're both seeing new people, and neither of us wants to "buy out" the other. Should we just forfeit the money, or should one of us cave in? -- NEED A 3RD OPINION

Do you want to ask a question? Send her an e-mail to questions@ catscall.com or write to:

Catherine Specter
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
34 Blvd. of the Allies
Pittsburgh, Pa. 15222

... or visit Catherine's Web site at catscall.com and make your own call.

DEAR NEED: Years ago a roommate and I spent $300 on a television. When we moved and went our separate ways, one of us bought out the other. Alas, I overpaid at the time, but I had that TV for years, during a time when I couldn't have afforded a new one. If we hadn't cut that deal the money would have been wasted and I would have missed "ER" and the O.J. trial. Just think what you could miss if you continue acting like a petulant child. You can get out of town, explore a new place, sleep in and maybe take your new relationship further! Do you really want to squander a prepaid vacation in a bad economy? Get over your spite and take the trip ...

Cat's Call: You can't know when you'll be able to take another one.

DEAR CAT: Five years ago a young couple bought the house next to mine. Since then they have neglected the property and turned a once beautiful Cape Cod into an eyesore. We share a driveway, so it's easy to notice peeling vinyl siding or a boarded-up window. It's rare to see a lawn mower or hedge trimmers being used. In the winter they drive right over fresh snow and pack it down instead of helping to clear the right-of-way. I checked with local officials, but, unfortunately, none of this is considered a violation, and I was told that not everyone "lives the same" and they just don't cut the grass as often as we would like. With that, I'm looking for your opinion. Other people in my neighborhood take pride in their homes. I think I speak for all of them when I say that we'd really like to keep it that way. What's the best way to express our concern to our neighbors about their home's lack of curb appeal? I don't think talking to the young couple directly would do any good. I don't want to see one bad apple bring our property values down! -- RESPONSIBLE HOMEOWNER

DEAR RESPONSIBLE: Peeling siding, unkempt grass -- it's all unsightly, depressing and bad for business, but the local official is right that you can't dictate how meticulously someone should keep their home (though unfixed broken windows might violate property maintenance codes, so investigate that further). It is absolutely inappropriate to express concern directly to the couple; they are not obligated to maintain whatever standard you and the other neighbors have set. Until you move to a gated or condo-like community where standards are set, you're stuck with the eyesore. My big question: You share a driveway but you've never discussed its maintenance with them?

Cat's Call: That would have been No. 1 on my to-do list five years ago.