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Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
34 Blvd. of the Allies
Pittsburgh, Pa. 15222
DEAR CAT: I recently lost my job as my company did a "restructuring" and eliminated 200 jobs. Luckily I got a small severance to hold me over for a few weeks. My family and friends are aware of my situation and they've been very supportive. However, I just got an invitation to a friend's baby shower. Honestly, I am a little bothered by this. This friend knows I am unemployed, and, frankly, I haven't seen her in three years and I have since moved three hours away from her. Plus, we talk only once every six months or so. Considering my financial situation, do I still have to send her a gift? My mother says to just send her something small, but small gifts here and there eventually add up. What's your call? -- TOO POOR TO PARTY
DEAR TOO: I took an informal Cat Poll on this one, and the vast majority shared your mother's opinion. I dissented because unusually trying times can justify unusual responses. You are in a really tight spot, and I doubt your friend wants anything more than for you to feel included. There's no way she would feel good accepting a gift under the circumstances, nor would she expect you to travel for the shower. If I'm wrong about either of those things, she's not a good friend. Your mom's suggestion is certainly courteous and reasonable, but instead of skimping for a plastic rattle, give a lovely gift down the road when you're employed and financially stable.
Cat's Call: Do send a card, though, and include a handwritten note.
DEAR CAT: Why is it so hard for a 25-year-old guy to meet a decent girl these days? I feel it is getting harder and harder to meet a girl who wants a well-rounded guy, rather than a guy they meet in a bar based on looks and cheesy pickup lines. I feel that I am a successful, good-looking guy with a good personality, but I haven't had a date in more than a year. My last real girlfriend was more than two years ago. I am getting kind of sick of not having someone to be with. Is there any advice that you have for me? -- GETTING LONELY
DEAR GETTING: You might be shocked to know a year without a date is not unheard of, especially for someone more relationship-oriented than date-fixated. Forget the idea that girls prefer cheesiness to sincerity and well-roundedness. For as much as we love to hear, "Baby, you must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day," such classy overtures don't actually work. Don't rely on nighttime and bars. You can meet girls in cafes, concerts, parties, the grocery store (yes, it's true), bookstores (those are especially good places) or just walking down the street. Trust me, I've seen it happen. You just need a little bravery. And remember you're not alone; your frustration with singleness is the reason online dating sites make so much money.
Cat's Call: On that note, go subscribe to one (or two!). Bonus Cat's Call: A special prize will be given to the person who submits the best or funniest "cheesy" pickup line at catscall.com.
