As if journalism didn't have enough problems, Samuel "Joe the Plumber" Wurzelbacher has joined the ranks of war correspondents hunkered down in Gaza. In a move that will prove that he truly is more Gomer Pyle than Ernie Pyle, Mr. Wurzelbacher has agreed to blog live for 10 days from one of the biggest open sores in the world for "Pajamas TV" (pjtv.com), a Web site of the conservative Pajamas Media.

Obviously, only an unlicensed plumber from Toledo can bring the kind of gravitas a right-wing blog needs to stand out in an era of shrinking media credibility. But what, pray tell, did Mr. Wurzelbacher do or say to earn a shot at covering the heartbreaking Israeli-Palestinian conflict? What are his qualifications for reporting from a warzone that has been active more or less for the last 2,000 years?

You'll recall that as the official mascot of John McCain's doomed presidential campaign, Joe the Plumber was regularly expected to chirp up about complex issues he really didn't understand. How else would he be guaranteed to truly represent the ranks of clueless Joes everywhere?

One day while being goaded by a reporter, Joe the Plumber showed his considerable expertise on Middle East affairs by declaring flatly that a vote for Barack Obama was a "vote for the death of Israel." Fortunately, most voters rejected his simpleminded analysis, but it was noticed and embraced by those who believe in their gut that any concession to the idea that Palestinians are human is a threat to Israel's existence.

Mr. Wurzelbacher told a Toledo television crew why he was about to undertake the most dangerous mission of his media-concocted celebrity: "I get to go over there [Israel] and let their 'average Joes' share their story, what they think, how they feel -- especially with, you know, world opinion. Maybe get a real story out there."

There you have it. While Israel's incursion into Gaza kills Palestinian civilians by the score every day and Hamas militants continue their cowardly bombardment of Israeli civilians with missiles, we can at least look forward to Joe Wurzelbacher to bring a backwards sense of moral clarity to the issue.

As of yesterday evening, Joe had yet to file a dispatch. But why wait for the real stuff? Here's how they'll go:

Dispatch 1: Just arrived in Israel. It was a long trip that started off in a kooky way. Some crazy chick with long blond hair and an Adam's apple accosted me at the Cleveland airport. She was yelling crazy stuff about liberals, Sodomites and Joe McCarthy. I told her I wasn't him. She laughed and said her name was Ann Coltface or something like that. She gave me a box of her books to distribute free to the troops in Gaza.

I said, "No way, Jose, I got my own book -- 'Joe the Plumber: Fighting for the American Dream'." She threw kisses at me as I got on the plane. I still feel dirty.

Dispatch 2: Because America just elected a Muslim president, somebody has to stand up for Israel in the media. Who better than me, Joe the Plumber? I have a new book out. It's called "Joe the Plumber: Fighting for the American Dream."

Dispatch 3: Did I tell you about my new book, "Joe the Plumber: Fighting for the American Dream"? Imagine 198 pages of pure truth and no bull. I even have a section about how John McCain betrayed me and what a fox Sarah Palin is. She's smart, too.

Dispatch 4: I tried to sleep in today, but the sound of human carnage kept me awake. I can't wait to get home to my own soft bed and out of this reinforced bunker. That reminds me -- Joe the Plumber needs a job! Buy my book so I won't have to do more stunts like this.

Dispatch 5: I can't help but notice that the Palestinians have no sense of fairness. Less than half a dozen Israeli civilians have been killed by Hamas rockets, but the Palestinians report hundreds of their civilians killed. Where is their sense of proportionality, huh? I'm going to write about this in detail in "Why Moral Equivalence is Overrated: Joe the Plumber's 10 Days in Gaza," the sequel to "Joe the Plumber: Fighting for the American Dream."

Final dispatch: I saw a lot of dead bodies today. Boy, are these folks going to be shocked when Jesus comes back with a sword hanging out of his mouth and slays them all for killing in the name of the wrong religion! These folks are craaazzy up in this joint.

In the meantime, remember to buy my book: "Joe the Plumber: Fighting for the American Dream" at secureourdream.com. Operators are standing by.