Man or gold-fish?

The only thing about the Beijing Olympics more pervasive than the smog was American aquatic juggernaut Michael Phelps, who blew Mark Spitz out of the water with a new record for number of gold medals won in a single Games: eight. When the swimmer dried off, he did a book, TV (including Barney the presidential dog's Christmas video), and even dated a Vegas cocktail waitress. Miss him? Get ready for his video game -- all the thrill, none of the chlorine. -- Samantha Bennett

Secret's out

President-elect Barack Hussein Obama will be sworn into office using the same Bible President Abraham Lincoln used. For the hundreds of thousands of Americans who were persuaded by conservative talk radio that the soon-to-be-44th president of the United States is a "secret Muslim," Mr. Obama's act of patriotism and Christian devotion is a head scratcher. If Mr. Obama is, indeed, a Muslim operating deep undercover, he risks committing an act of religious treason by taking the oath of office using a Christian Bible. But if he swears on the Bible, he'll demonstrate how intellectually fraudulent his talk-radio critics were all along. Stay tuned for the next big revelation out of right-wing radio: "Abe Lincoln must have been a Muslim, too." -- Tony Norman

Can see Russia from my house!

Would that new-candidate smell have faded off Sarah Palin as quickly if Tina Fey hadn't been such a wickedly dead-on doppelganger? Palin partisans forgave her gee-whiz content-free ramblings, of course, but the uncommitted might not have noticed if the actress/writer hadn't aped her so ably on "Saturday Night Live." Watercoolers and PCs buzzed for days after each lampoon: Maverick, there, ya know. Maverick maverick maverick. You betcha. -- S.B.

Bye, bye, blogs

This year, PittGirl got out of the local blogging business before her celebrated anonymity was compromised. Much was made of the snarky young ingenue's exit. She had a following among local journalists and was rewarded with coverage out of proportion to her actual importance in the scheme of things. As many as five local blogs shut down this year, but none got the press that PittGirl generated. She kept us in thrall to her coquettish wit until the end, even though we have no idea what she looks like. -- T.N.

Like a house of cards

American capitalism collapsed this year. Who would have thought that irrational exuberance was, um, irrational? It was like dominoes when it fell. Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, along with banks and investment houses, needed immediate propping up. The housing market collapsed along with home financing and car loans. Detroit is gasping for air. Unemployment spiked to near 7 percent. A $750 billion emergency package passed by Congress at President George W. Bush's urging looks more like a down payment that will be measured in the trillions. Even formerly sky-high gas prices collapsed unexpectedly. Through it all, no one is talking about the wisdom of unregulated markets anymore. If the only way to fix the economy is the return of the wildly exuberant consumer, we're doomed. -- T.N.

Black and white and dead all over?

Thousands of journalists lost their jobs this year as a once-mighty newspaper chain filed for bankruptcy protection and individual newspapers announced they were going out of business. Instead of reporting the news, the media itself began occupying an uncomfortable spot at the center of it. Some short-sighted souls cheered journalism's decline as a vindication of the superiority of the Internet. We'll see if they feel the same way when all newspapers are gone and their favorite blogs fail to pick up the slack. -- T.N.

Something to sink our teeth into

Vampire movies, books and a television series about the undead are suddenly the rage with teenagers, especially girls who see suave and moody bloodsuckers as metaphors of their own inchoate desires. The "Twilight" movie is a big hit because it is chaste, nonviolent and features a cast of vampires who only hint at their dangerous potential. Sounds like every first date to us. -- T.N.

A bitter taste

In April, Sen. Barack Obama told a fundraiser audience that he didn't always charm small-town voters because they feared the stumbling economy: "They get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them ... as a way to explain their frustrations." Guns? Religion? Bigotry? Naaaaaaaah. Not in this campaign. Obama's attack of foot-in-mouth disease didn't lose him Pennsylvania or the presidency, and we can only hope it taught him never to say anything so unpalatably true in front of a microphone again. -- S.B.

Champagne and knuckle sandwiches

North Hills newlyweds, below, drew national attention in April with a wedding-night donnybrook that drew in a couple of would-be Samaritans who tried to separate the lovebirds. The bride was whisked off to the lockup still in her gown, and the groom, sporting a shiner and one shoe, went to the hospital. The Samaritans were also roughed up. And you thought the Chicken Dance was embarrassing. -- S.B.

Throw away the key

In September, eight years after a series of violent home invasions and rapes kept East End women who lived alone on the first floor on edge for a whole sweltering summer, 51-year-old Keith Wood of Highland Park was convicted and sentenced to 80 to 160 years in prison. The jailing of the infamous East End rapist brought an ugly, fearful chapter in the city's history to a close at last. -- S.B.

US Airways takes off

US Airways continued to pull out of Pittsburgh by the routes. Nonstop flights to Europe ended in November 2004; this summer, service to Harrisburg was eliminated, and the airline will stop nonstop flights between Pittsburgh and Florida on Jan. 5. Remember when we were a hub? We complained about lack of choice and high fares. We had to sneak out to Cleveland to see other airlines. At least now we can fall in love with Southwest openly, and Delta is taking us to Paris. -- S.B.