As the New Year looms, most of us are taking stock of the past 12 months in an effort to make those ahead a bit better.

Americans from the White House to Skid Row will soon be drawing up lists of resolutions and goals, the keeping or meeting of which would require superhuman strength and the resilience of John Murtha. Since few of us possess such staying power -- or a passel of earmarks to purchase it -- most of us are doomed to failure.

Let me save you from this fate. Let me introduce you to the Wisdom of Wally. Wally is an old friend who has made the same resolution each New Year for many years in a row: He vows that in the coming 12 months he will not eat watermelon.

That's it. That's Wally's only resolution, and here's why: Watermelon is a food that Wally already dislikes and won't eat, so his resolution is easy to remember and keep. Wally thus sets himself up for a very successful year.

This is the strategy of lowered expectations. Something tells me Wally may already be an adviser to the new Obama administration.

Since lofting to victory on rhetorical gusts of hope and change unmatched since Bill Clinton's 1992 campaign, President-elect Barack Obama has left it to advisers to dial down the media hype and his other believers' anticipation. We've quickly learned that Mr. Obama will need a second term to accomplish his ambitious agenda for changing America. And instead of 4 million or 5 million people swarming Washington, D.C., for the inauguration, officials now predict fewer than 2 million.

And instead of creating 2 million jobs, we are now told Mr. Obama will create or save this many in his first term. So technically speaking, a couple of years from now, if all but 2 million Americans have lost their jobs as a result of recession-exacerbating, New New Deal economic policies, the president will still have fulfilled his promise. It's all good!

Secretary of State-designate Hillary Clinton may also be familiar with this strategy. She seems to have resigned herself long ago to accepting plum public positions as consolation prizes from men who publicly humiliate her -- first and repeatedly from her scoundrel of a husband, and now from Mr. Obama ("You're likable enough, Hillary").

Mrs. Clinton has been so successful with her strategy of lowered expectations that she has virtually nowhere left to go.

That's not true of less savvy politicians like Rod Blagojevich. Who knows where he's going! If charges prove true, the Illinois governor may soon be selling the top bunk for a pack of cigarettes, instead of a Senate seat for a hefty cash donation -- but at least he can keep wheeling and dealing!

Speaking of the U.S. Senate, John McCain should resolve to resume reaching across the aisle in the spirit of bipartisanship. It's what he already does, and now that he realizes he will gain only temporary, insincere approval from journalists and Democrats for whom he is a useful tool, keeping this resolution every year will feel like actual achievement.

Closer to home, Gov. Ed Rendell should continue his quest for the perfect sandwich.

The Pennsylvania Legislature should keep trying to expand the state's gambling options in lieu of cutting budget waste or performing other acts of responsible public service.

U.S. Attorney Mary Beth Buchanan, a Republican appointee, should continue displaying her willingness to serve the new Democratic administration by prosecuting celebrity bong sellers and corrupt public officials, and the Allegheny County Republican committee should continue its stellar track record of ensuring that few if any of the public officials for Ms. Buchanan to prosecute are ever Republicans.

Port Authority employees will have a successful 2009 if they resolve to continue soaking the taxpayers.

Restaurant and bar owners will have an entertaining year if they decide to keep their eye -- and their lawsuits -- on the ever-shifting revenues from the county's Drink Tax Shell Game. First the money's applied here, then -- oops, haha! -- now it's over here, guys!

And me, you ask? What do I resolve? I am going to continue exercising my gift of constructive criticism here on the sidelines, to assist the other people who are trying to get things done. It's the least I can do.