'Twas the night before Christmas ...

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

By Rocky Marks

Daniel Marsula/Post-Gazette

This year my son is old enough to get into the sport of motorcycling. I'm really excited, as I've been looking forward to this for a very long time.

We are going about it smart and taking every safety precaution to ensure that he will be safe and responsible. Before he can jump on that gas-powered 50cc bike of his own, he needs to show me that he can pass his Spider-Man bike with training wheels on to his little brother and handle the next size pedal bike without any training wheels.

As you know, putting toys together on Christmas Eve is pretty much tradition for the majority of Americans. Why we wait until last minute will forever be a mystery. At the shop they say I'm mechanically challenged, so putting his new bike together will be an interesting experience.

This is a very important night for me, because I know that if I can get him onto a bigger bike, he'll be riding a motorcycle with me in no time. Here's how I expect things will happen.

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through my pad,

Everyone was sleeping except for me, a mechanically challenged dad.

Sure, the stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

I have that wrench on my workbench, but not sure where.

My oldest was nestled all snug in his bed,

While I'm freezing my fingers off out working in the shed.

This year's going to be such a surprise,

It will all be worth it to see my son's eyes.

In the backyard there arose such a clatter,

When I lost my grip the wrench flew and made the window shatter.

When my hand slipped my knuckles started to bleed,

Life would be so much easier if I would just get the directions and take time to read.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

t was my wife in curlers and all I could say was ... "Uh... Hello, Dear.

After 11 years of marriage she could read me like a book,

he said, "Where are the directions? as she just gave me that look.

As usual she was very quick to tell me what I did wrong,

But with her here I knew this fix wouldn't take long.

With her by my side and me holding the flashlight,

I knew it would quickly come together and be put together right.

A couple turns of the wrench here, a screwdriver there,

All that was left was to fill it with air.

It's amazing how my wife can do things to perfection,

Maybe I could do the same if I'd just follow directions.

I'm very thankful that I have a wife that humors me by letting me go it alone. Fortunately she knows when to step in before I really get myself in a bind.

From my family to yours we wish you a very Happy Holiday season!

Ride and write

Welcome to Pittsburgh Rides, our regular feature on motorcycling. Here we bring you the latest in rides, trends and events, but we need your input. We're looking for voices from the local biking community willing to share (in roughly 500 words) your experiences on the road and what you think is hot on wheels.

• Send your story or pitch to the Weekend editor at smervis@post-gazette.com.

• Want to answer our Burning Questions? Send to the same address and include your name and neighborhood.

Rocky Marks is operations manager at Hot Metal Harley-Davidson in West Mifflin and host of "On the Road With Rocky" on 660 AM Thursdays at 10 a.m.

First published on December 25, 2008 at 12:00 am