Confident that the Almighty has a tremendous sense of humor, I've taken the liberty in recent years of, um, refreshing the Christmas Story with the voices of some unlikely characters.

First it was the Pittsburgh Steelers' play-by-play guys: "Now here comes Joseph, and he's got the hand-off -- talk about your Immaculate Reception!"

Then it was someone who'd seen way too many ads for inventively named products: "Suddenly there appeared a Paxil of angels in the Spherion praising God ... 'Gloria in Cialis Airgo! Glory to God in the Prius!' "

This Yuletide let's hear the Gospel of Luke's narrative from a few figures who made 2008 so memorable ...

Barack Obama: I won the coin toss, of course, so I'll get us started. Aaaand uh, it came to pass in those days that, uh, there went out a decree ... from, uh, Caesar Augustus ... that all the world should get a tax cut.

Sarah Palin: You betcha! That's what John McCain woulda done!

Joe Biden: Well, respectfully, Barack, the text says "all the world should be taxed," and you know what -- this young couple, dirt poor, expecting a child, they stepped up and did their patriotic duty! They went all the way from Galilee to Bethlehem, probably on foot -- great for the environment, no donkey methane to contribute to global warming, which even then was already bad in the Middle East, which I know because I've studied the satellite photos taken 2,000 years ago and recovered in Area 51 --

Obama: Joe, I need you to, uh, get started right away on renumbering the Library of Congress card catalog. Don't worry about how long it takes -- thanks, buddy ... OK, sorry about that -- where were we?

Palin: Mary was great with child, and believe you me, that's somethin' me and my daughter Bristol know a little about!

Obama: Right. Aaaand the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. Aaaand she brought forth her firstborn son, wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn -- undoubtedly due to discriminatory practices, excessive deregulation and lax congressional oversight of the commercial hospitality industry.

John McCain: Well, that manger is still a heckuva lot bigger than the cell I occupied for five years as a prisoner in Vietnam!

Obama: But it's smaller than any of your seven kitchens, John, and nobody cares.

Palin: C'mon you guys -- we got a job to do here and let me tell ya, it's easier than skinnin' a moose!

Obama: Aaand there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the fields --

Palin: Pro-Judea Jews!

Obama: -- keeping watch over their flock by night --

Palin: Clingin' to their spears and religion!

Obama: Cut it out, hockey mom!

McCain: My friends, you two aren't acting in a very bipartisan manner, as I've done for so many years in the Senate, reaching across the ai--

Obama: Aaand lo! The angel of the Lord came upon them -- a supernatural visitation which I, as a Christian, certainly believe in while reserving the right to, uh, interpret it as possibly a mental, uh, construct fueled by sleep deprivation, dehydration and the innate gullibility of the non-elites--

McCain: And the glory of the Lord shone round about them, and they were sore afraid. Sore. That reminds me of the Vietna--

Palin: Can I just jump in?

Obama: Yes, you can!

Palin: And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people --

Obama: Young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, Ivy League, redneck, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, bisexual, transgendered, disabled, not disabled, disabled gay, not disabled bisexual, transgendered Ivy League Hispa--

McCain: We get the picture, my friend.

Palin: For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. Now I'm sendin' you on a mission from God -- You'll find the babe -- not a smokin' hot hockey mom, but an actual adorable baby, like mine -- wrapped in swaddlin' clothes lyin' in a manger, a sure vote-getter!

Obama: Aaaaand suddenly, there was a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and singing, Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth peace, goodwill toward men! Aaaand women!

Palin: That'd sure be change I could believe in!