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PrintDEAR CAT: What is your call on swearing in the workplace? It doesn't offend me personally, but it bothers others. Example: Just before a meeting, the boss says, "Where's the &@%$#! coffee?!" The secretary scrambles around to ready it, then we sit quietly as he complains (with more bad words) about this quarter's numbers. Should one of us say something? Or is it best to keep your mouth shut in these cases? -- SILENT CPA
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
34 Blvd. of the Allies
Pittsburgh, Pa. 15222
DEAR SILENT: It depends mostly on the nature of the office. Most large companies have rules against inappropriate language while small, private offices tend to be freer. If you (or others) feel offended, or the language creates a hostile environment, or it morphs from basic outbursts to personal, profanity-laced insults, absolutely say something. But if the toilet tongue doesn't bother you ...
Cat's Call: Why bother with it?
DEAR CAT: I've been dating a woman who gave me only her work cell number (not her normal phone number). First date: She was late, but that evening I learned she loves amusement parks and frogs, and she collects pens. Second date: She was late again. I took her to an amusement park, gave her pens from my work and a frog that goes on top of pens. I called her after the date but waited six days before she called me back. Third date: She was two hours late. She called, very upset, saying she was stuck in traffic. Knowing this, I got her a card to cheer her up once she arrived. After the date she said she wouldn't have her phone on in the evenings that week.
She then went away one weekend and I called her during her trip, but she didn't answer. I called her a week after her trip, no response. Now it's been weeks since we last talked. I normally would have written her off by now, but after the third date I thought there might be something between us. Since I took her to three places she enjoys and no one else took her there on dates, I thought I was looking good for date No. 4. I think she might be telling me indirectly that we are done since she hasn't returned my calls in three weeks. Should I call her, wait until she calls me, or move on without getting a reason from her why we're done? -- THIRD CALL
DEAR THIRD: Stuck in traffic for two hours? Let me guess, an 18-wheeler jackknifed on the Santa Ana. Her car hit a water buffalo. Her dog ate her homework. I don't believe you'd normally write her off by now. I believe you're a thoughtful guy who tried too hard and ignored obvious signals that she wasn't interested (you bought her a card after waiting for two hours!). Her recent disappearance isn't an indirect message, it's a blatant one. But she showed her perpetually late, too-rude-to-call-you-back colors from the onset. Don't call her again, and don't use this to support the stupid theory that women don't like nice guys. She was uninterested and rude. You were over-interested and overdoing it. Sometimes people just don't click ...
Cat's Call: No matter how many gifts you give or hours you wait for them.
