War. Dead celebrities. Feeding frenzies at the local aquarium.

No wonder I'm not sleeping at night.

It's time to take a fresh look at something a tad tamer, a touch more civilized.

It's time to get a bit classier.

It's time for some vowel movements.

And that's an order that's easy to Handel -- I simply have to get Bach to basics.

And so it is with great glee that I decide to go behind the scenes of the musical maze at the Bach Choir of Pittsburgh, which has been around since 1934 and no longer exclusively performs the works of Johann Sebastian Bach.

I admit that I go with a fifth of apprehension -- its mission seems awfully stuffy as it promises "disciplined training and education of musicians in the art of choral singing" and "study and rehearsal of choral literature representative of a variety of significant musical traditions."

All I want is a good time.

It's a Tuesday, night and I am sitting in Levy Hall of Rodef Shalom Congregation watching the choir rehearse for its upcoming performances at the Three Rivers Film Festival. This is pretty heady stuff -- for two performances the choir will be singing to screenings of Carl Theodor Dreyer's seldom-seen 1928 masterpiece, "The Passion of Joan of Arc."

As a silent-film lover and Joan of Arc "fan" (my good friend, Julie Harris, won a Tony playing the burnt cross-dressing saint in "The Lark"), I am excited as I hear bits and pieces of what is to come. I close my eyes and "Voices of Light," the official name of Richard Einhorn's oratorio, comes together as an 80-plus-minute soundtrack that will illuminate the film's stark close-ups and unflinching intensity.

The final "silent is golden" moment is almost a week away; tonight, it's rehearsal time here in Levy Hall, with choir director and conductor Thomas W. Douglas leading the way.

Homasse! Hee! Quel honneur au feminin sexe ... .

"Love these words! Embrace the vowels! Keep the air moving!" Douglas says with a minor wave of his baton.

Par qui tout le regne ert desert ...

"Remember the vowels! You've got to love these chords!"

Par femme est sours et recouvert ...

"I hear more E flat than D! Are you afraid of tension?"

Twenty minutes later things are really heating up. Douglas asks Gabe D'Abruzzo to stop playing piano. One woman whips out a folding fan and starts the cooling.

Homasse! Une fillete ... A qui armes ne sont pesans ...

"It sounds like you're running out of juice!"

From where I'm sitting in the back row, it sounds pretty good. I look around and think about the 84 members who volunteer their time and talent to make such music of the night. (The choir has 16 core members who, like Douglas, are paid.) I think that before tonight, a good many of them probably had never heard of Carl Dreyer, and some probably never of poor Joan.

Like all good conductors, Douglas knows how to extract the best from his disciples through humor. "You're singing about whipping and death and torture! But you're saying it as if you're buying a Brillo pad!" Later, when telling the "background" singers when to chirp in: "Gladys Knight has given way to the Pips!"

Douglas also readily admits when he's wrong. After accusing the small group of singers who have gathered up front of hitting wrong notes, he laughs, "I screwed up. I'm excited!"

And so am I.

I came for a good time, and I got one, here and a few days later at their vowel-perfect performance at the Regent Square Theater.

And I know that this Friday night's encore, also at the Regent Square Theater, will undoubtedly be just as good.

(Showtime is 8 p.m.; get your tickets before they are gone by calling 412-394-3353 or visiting www.proartstickets.org. And stake me out a seat.)

After all, I remind myself, the Bach Choir's mission statement also promises "performances of the highest artistic quality."