Q: I have a concern that might affect other people in the same situation. I have asked clergy, lawyers and financial advisers, but none seems to have an answer.

I am a single retired woman with no living relatives. I have never been married. Although I have quite a few documents in place -- a will, a durable medical power of attorney and a durable financial power of attorney that gives a friend authority over my financial affairs if I become incapacitated, I still do not feel comfortable. If I end up in an assisted-living or nursing facility or am unable to fully care for myself at home, how do I find someone who will be my advocate, my friend and my companion? I have friends now, but I certainly do not expect them to change their lives to look after me. Besides, they might not be around. I want to have someone -- similar to family -- who will look out for my welfare and make sure that I am well-fed, dressed in clean clothes, get out when I can, etc. How do I arrange for this? Can you get me headed in the right direction?

A: You are correct when you say that many people do not have family members available to assist them with quality-of-life concerns when they become incapacitated or need assistance with certain activities of daily life. At these times, in addition to basic care, companionship and caring, human contacts are essential to reduce the isolation and loneliness that many seniors face.

We have several suggestions: Seek out a geriatric-care manager who would be retained by either you or your attorney-in-fact, should you become incapacitated or need assistance. The role of the care manager would be to not only evaluate your situation and help you find community and private resources to assist you, but also to conduct ongoing visits to assure that your plan of care is being followed. In appropriate situations, care managers can even help locate and monitor live-in companions. Your power of attorney should specifically include instructions to your agent to hire and use a qualified geriatric-care manager, who can be located in your area by going to www.caremanager.org.

Since companionship and nonmedical assistance -- such as household chores, meal preparation, shopping, entertainment, reading -- are essential ingredients to allowing some people to stay at home longer or to make the most of an institutional setting, we suggest the use of companion services. While there are others, the company that appears to have the greatest national reach is Home Instead (www.homeinstead.com). These nonmedical caregivers have passed criminal background checks, and they are bonded, insured and supervised. These services can be for either short- or long-term situations. You may also look for local firms, but check them out thoroughly.

With these resources in mind, you should revisit your documents, particularly your durable power of attorney, to assure that, should you become incapacitated, your attorney-in-fact is authorized -- or even mandated -- to hire these resources to assist you. Remember: Powers of attorney should be drafted by knowledgeable lawyers who understand your needs and desires and should not be form documents that may or may not pass muster when you need them. You should also consider appointing alternate agents just in case your friend who has agreed to help you is not available. And look into long-term care insurance, as more and more policies today are including geriatric-care management as a covered expense.