DEAR CAT: I am one of the "undecideds" who honestly doesn't know who to vote for. I know it's hard to believe that someone can't decide between two such different candidates but that's really me!

Do you want to ask a question? Send an e-mail to questions@ catscall.com or write to:

Catherine Specter
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
34 Blvd. of the Allies
Pittsburgh, Pa. 15222

... or visit her Web site at catscall.com

I am a 42-year-old man, and I've only voted twice before. My wife is voting Democrat, my sister is voting Republican. I've been in the middle of their arguments for months. I am not religious (unlike both candidates), I am on the fence about what the U.S. should do about Iraq (unlike both candidates), and I don't trust politicians in general. If I'm still undecided at this point, should I bother voting at all? I don't want to "waste" a vote. -- JOE THE UNDECIDED

DEAR JOE: I don't want you to waste your vote, either. Most of all I don't want you to waste the opportunity to vote. But I won't make this decision for you. I will ask that you take a few minutes to do the following: Find a quiet spot to sit down and read the Declaration of Independence. If it doesn't inspire you to consider this country's history, present and future, I can't imagine what will. I received many "what should I do?" e-mails from undecideds over recent months, and I wrote to them what you are reading now. No matter what you choose to do today or for whom you choose to vote, remember ...

Cat's Call: A thoughtful, educated vote is never a waste.

DEAR CAT: I'm in a confused state. I think I'm starting to view one of my good friends in a different light. On paper he'd be perfect for me. He's a great person, and we have a lot in common. But paper doesn't always translate to real life. He's just not who I would typically picture myself with, and I'm more physically attracted to other guys. But a lot of people could see us together, and I'm starting to wonder if they're right. I'm not ready to admit anything because I'm not sure if he's really the guy for me or if this would even go anywhere. I wouldn't want things to become awkward (a definite possibility if this turned out the wrong way). Your call? -- CURIOUSLY CONFUSED

DEAR C.C.: Yep, this is why so many guys fear women's platonic friendships with single men. Despite what your friends say, don't rush to action and don't worry about negative consequences -- you never know if a relationship will go anywhere, whether it begins with friendship or romance. The not-knowing is part of the fun! Love is a funny thing. Sometimes it starts to shine for people who yesterday wouldn't get a second look or a moment's consideration. When it does, it's impossible to ignore. Remember, even if you snagged your preferred "type," that's no guarantee you'd fall in love with him. That's the old battle of paper vs. person. It's closely related to the battle of attraction vs. love.

Cat's Call: You seem experienced enough to have already witnessed and survived both.