Where's CSI?: The San Francisco Chronicle's Scott Ostler was unimpressed by recent investigations concerning possible cheating in sports: "If I'm ever under investigation for a serious crime, I want to be investigated by either the NBA or the International Gymnastics Federation." Clearly, he makes a stronger case than ... oh, never mind.

Meek no more: With Vanderbilt's football team 5-0 , the following appeared on Fark.com: "The geeks shall inherit the turf." Wish we had written that one first.