DEAR CAT: I fell in love with my best friend when we were both 33 years old. I haven't loved anyone in my life as much as I loved him. We dated off and on for a couple years, but I always had financial concerns about him.

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Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
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He would give the shirt off his back to help anyone, but he spent more money than he apparently earned and bought extravagant things like a sports car. I was financially stable, and if we got married I didn't want to worry about his money habits. Shouldn't a never-been-married 33-year-old man know how to manage his money? He got married shortly after we broke up and I learned he and his wife filed for bankruptcy less than a year later and there is a judgment against him. Should I be relieved that I didn't stay in the relationship or should I have stayed with him because I don't think I will ever love someone the way I loved him, and because "money isn't everything?" -- IN DOUBT

DEAR DOUBT: No, money isn't everything, but when you don't have any, and you owe people, and your assets are in jeopardy -- home, children's needs, etc. -- it might as well be everything. No matter how nice he was as a boyfriend, nice doesn't cut it when you're being audited. Financial irresponsibility by one spouse can have devastating consequences for the other. Your gut told you there are ways to be generous and have fun without bankruptcy, judgments and financial ruin being the result. You loved him, sure, but how much would you like or respect him if he consistently put your joint future in danger? It's odd, you miss your old boyfriend despite seeing the husband he became. I say thank your lucky stars that you followed your instincts, or ...

Cat's Call: You might be bankrupt now, too.

DEAR CAT: My sister got married two summers ago (about 14 months ago) and eight months later they divorced. Incidentally, she just discovered that the wedding gift I gave to them is the wrong model. She already cleared with her soon-to-be ex-husband that she'll keep this particular gift. I offered to exchange it for her, but the new model is a tad more expensive, plus shipping costs. Now I'm wondering if I should just take the high road and pay for the price difference and shipping. Or should I let her know that it costs a little extra and ask her to chip in? What is the right thing to do? -- REFUND

DEAR REFUND: If they registered for one specific model and you purposely bought a different, cheaper one, you should take care of it. Otherwise, your sister should eat the cost. If you give someone a coffee maker and months later they decide it brews too slowly, or stainless would look better than black, it's their problem. But this is your sibling, and it was a wedding present, and now she's going through a divorce, so ...

Cat's Call: Spend the extra money so she can enjoy the gift.