"I'll suspend my campaign and return to Washington. It's time for both parties to come together; I'm directing my campaign to delay Friday night's debate until we have taken action to address the crisis." -- John McCain

Who would have figured Sen. John McCain for a Trekkie? Sure, he's always had a swagger like William Shatner's iconic "Star Trek" character Capt. James T. Kirk, but until he tried to pull a "Kobayashi Maru" on Barack Obama this week, the extent of his Trekkiness was unknown.

For those not versed in "Star Trek" mythology, the Kobayashi Maru is a notorious computer training exercise that simulated a dangerous rescue mission in the Klingon sector of the Neutral Zone.

When Capt. Kirk was a Starfleet cadet, he took the test three times, but failed twice. When Kirk's starship answered a Starfleet freighter's distress signal and entered the Neutral Zone, he found himself surrounded by three Klingon battle cruisers with superior firepower.

His choice was either to fight and die or ignore the freighter's distress signal and not violate the treaty.

The point of the test is to measure a Starfleet cadet's character, ingenuity and decision-making skills. It was assumed that there was no way to outmaneuver three Klingon ships, rescue the freighter's 381 passengers and crew and escape to Federation space without starting a war and entailing massive casualties.

On the eve of his third try, Kirk decided the only way he could win would be, in secret, to reprogram the game to his advantage. Cheating was better than losing.

When Kirk faced the Kobayashi Maru for the third time, it wasn't the same game that frustrated hundreds of cadets for generations. He beat it easily. For displaying the kind of deviousness that isn't taught at the academy, Kirk won a special commendation from his teachers and became a Starfleet legend.

The moral of the Kobayashi Maru scenario is clear even to non-Trekkies: When confronted with a no-win situation, there's no shame in hitting the reset button and changing the terms of the game.

That's what John McCain tried to do on Wednesday when he "suspended" his campaign so he could concentrate his economic expertise on fixing America's rapidly unraveling economy.

Mr. McCain said he wouldn't attend tonight's scheduled debate against Mr. Obama at the University of Mississippi in Oxford. The campaign also hints that running mate Sarah Palin's debate next month won't happen either. Could sinking poll numbers have something to do with it?

"You don't suspend your campaign," David Letterman said Wednesday night after Mr. McCain cancelled an appearance on his show at the last minute. "This isn't the way a tested hero behaves. ... I think someone must be putting something in his Metamucil."

Mr. McCain has relied on Kobayashi Maru maneuvers before. Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin was big time Kobayashi for him last month when he pulled her out of obscurity to be his running mate, but that bounce has long since deflated.

"He can't run the campaign because the economy is cratering? Fine, put in your second-string quarterback, Sarah Palin," Letterman said as the audience roared. "Where is she?"

Mr. Obama -- who bears an uncanny resemblance to Tim Russ, the actor who played Tuvok, a black Vulcan on "Star Trek: Voyager" -- may face an empty seat in Oxford tonight if Mr. McCain keeps his promise to stay away.

If Mr. McCain decides to show up, the very Spock-like Obama should lean over and do a Kobayashi of his own: "Senator, I served with James T. Kirk. James T. Kirk was a friend of mine. Senator, you're no James T. Kirk."

Speaking of alternate universes, I wonder how long it will be before footage of Ms. Palin being "anointed" in Wasilla by famed Kenyan witch hunter the Rev. Thomas Muthee gets saturation airplay on Fox News and other cable news outlets like the Rev. Jeremiah Wright's videos did?

I thought debunking black preachers was Sean Hannity's specialty.

At a Wasilla Assembly of God church service in 2005, the Rev. Muthee laid hands on Ms. Palin, who was getting ready to run for governor. In a June speech at the same church, she attributed much of her success as governor to his supernatural blessing. A few months later, Mr. McCain asked her if she was interested in being one heartbeat away from the presidency. Coincidence? I think not.

If Rev. Muthee plays his cards right, he could be the next surgeon general in a Palin-McCain administration.

Overheard at my radical church on the South Side: "Democrats brought us the War on Poverty. Republicans brought us war and poverty."