DEAR CAT: I am in love with my boyfriend, but he is, above all else, lazy. Does that 2006 movie "Failure to Launch" ring a bell? After seven months together, he's done nothing for himself. He owns a home but rents it out to help his parents, so he's at my house 90 percent of the time. He puts everything before his own problems: horrible debt, organizing his belongings or seeing a counselor for the issues he complains about.

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Catherine Specter
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
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I got a part-time job (on top of my full-time job) to help myself but also to motivate him to action. Everything he claims to want/need is added to a "book" he keeps, and I want him to do those things instead of talking about them. I am preparing to break things off because I feel he sold me an image, one I wanted to believe because it mirrored who I want for the long term. I love him, but I can't stand his excuses, and at 40 years old, he should have more ducks in a row. My question: Am I ending things for the right reason? -- DISAPPOINTED

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: He must be some kind of salesman to hide laziness and a total lack of ambition from a hard-working, supportive, motivated smarty like yourself. OK, you love him, but why stay with a grown man who's laden with debt, doesn't face problems and whom you don't truly respect? He sounds like a nice-enough guy who cares about you and his parents but otherwise kind of a bum. Not mean or a mooch, just bummy. You took another job, in part, to motivate your boyfriend? You might need counseling, too! Forget about whether it's right to end it.

Cat's Call: Think about whether it's worth it to stay.

DEAR CAT: My wife is beautiful and very fit. She works hard to stay in shape, and she hates being called "skinny" and she goes overboard when someone calls her that, to the point of annoying and embarrassing me. One example: At a church group someone called her skinny, and she replied, "How would you like it if I said, 'F%$# you, you are fat'?" She gave the same response at an office get-together. My mom said she was "fit and skinny," and my wife agreed it wasn't meant as an insult. Short of providing people with instructions on how to talk to her, I don't know what to do. I cringe when we go out because I'm afraid of her reaction to the S-word. As an adult I think she should be able to deal with it better, especially since she acknowledges that most people are not trying to insult her. She told me recently that I don't care about her feelings because, quite frankly, I'm tired of hearing about it. -- ABOUT MY 'FIT' WIFE

DEAR A.M.F.W: I can't blame you. I was tired of hearing about it after the third sentence. So she bristles at the S-word, but she uses the F-word in a church group. She may be beautiful, but her behavior is not attractive. Nor is it ladylike, mature or mannerly. Here's the skinny on your wife: She is either hiding an eating disorder or she is self-absorbed, over-reactive, vain and insecure. Oops, I forgot to add "egomaniacal" and "drama queen." I am not trying to insult her, I'm demonstrating how a third party would view her reactions. There is zero chance anyone is trying to insult her. She's just trying to draw attention to her bod. She should learn to say, "thank you" and move on. What should you do?

Cat's Call: Show her this column.