Financial times have changed, but our challenges seem to have stayed the same.

In decades past, the primary focus of every family was protecting the ancestral homestead. The only real financial worry was keeping the local banker holding the family mortgage at bay while desperately trying to keep up with the payments. It's painfully ironic that many families find themselves in that same position today.

Did we learn nothing from our ancestors about purposeful monetary practices?

Unfortunately, it seems we haven't. Good old-fashioned fiscal values have been replaced by an almost insatiable appetite for status and image. Just take a good look at our socially posturing teenagers, who learn at a relatively young age that it's far easier to buy your way into the clique of choice than it is to take the pains of earning it.

And who is to blame for this fumble of social and financial values? We are. The consumer. We spend the vast majority of our social lives with our noses pressed up against our neighbor's window of luxury, hoping not to fall behind.

I define consumerism as the constant accumulation of material items in a quest to feel better about who we are. Indeed, consumerism may be the only addiction that is openly encouraged on a global level.

Any good Treasury secretary knows you can't build an economy on a nation of cheapskates. Spending is essential to a healthy economy, as was the intent of the economic stimulus checks we received this year. But has our thirst for more led us down a self-destructive path of irrational wants and misplaced values?

From the moment we are born, our materialistic values begin to take shape. Think of the truck loads of gifts children usually get for a first birthday or holiday and the developmental message that sends: The more I get, the more I must be loved. It's easy to see that, by the time most children reach grade school, the die of materialism already has been cast.

A recent study showed that, as teenage girls became more engaged in a consumer culture and increasingly aware of personal and family image, they were more likely to suffer from depression, anxiety and lower self-esteem.

For adults, the problem only gets worse. The Journal of Marital and Family Therapy reports that "Many American, and global, families are overworked and overcommitted to a goal of making more money so they can afford an over-the-top lifestyle that ultimately does not serve them well. Materialism leads many families to engage in risky and self-defeating behaviors in an attempt to get more or just keep up."

Believe it or not, we do have a choice. Amid all the private school tuitions, extravagant engagement rings, bus-size sport utility vehicles and $10 mojitos stands our personal gumption to bring our financial values into clear focus.

The clarity of past experience and life-long consumer habits informs us that the Joneses are misguided at best, and our attempts to continually keep up with them is a fallacy. Healthy spiritual, social, educational, moral and, yes, financial values are primarily learned in the home.

Although it's true that the constant stream of consumer messages, exacerbated by peer pressure and a need for acceptance, poses a serious challenge to the best parental efforts, it's also true that practiced family beliefs are still a leading indicator of an individual's future ideals and self-worth.

So how can our financial perspective gain strength and remain in focus?

First, strong individual and family financial values start with a thorough and honest examination of what type of life is important to you. This frank and honest assessment must include the participation of the entire family and be as open and specific as possible.

Second, realize that you are what you buy. Once you establish your lifestyle image, it almost certainly becomes your individual and family destiny. Set the right tone to reach the right destination.

Third, be a consumer of experiences and not just of material possessions. Life enriching activities with family and friends last far longer and are far better for our souls than material items we soon discard.

Fourth, and potentially most difficult, be strong-willed enough to recognize -- and begin to remove yourself from -- those environments and people who may lead you down the destructive path of a material-driven life.

Lastly, write out your personal financial mission statement and goals. This statement defines you and your effort; the goals are the road map to reach your financial destiny.