Do you want to ask a question? Send an e-mail to questions@ catscall.com or write to:

Catherine Specter
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
34 Blvd. of the Allies
Pittsburgh, Pa. 15222

... or visit her Web site at catscall.com

DEAR CAT: I dated a woman for two months. I was a true gentleman to her, and I took care of her (I wasn't a pushover, though). I'm good-looking, educated, work full time, live alone, no drugs or alcohol, no children, never been married. She drinks excessively, has emotional problems, takes antidepressants and is a bit overweight. Long story short, she dumped me in front of all her friends and her ex-boyfriend, then she went back with him. As I left, she cried, "Please don't do this!" She e-mailed to say she was sorry, she hopes that I don't hate her, she's in love with her ex, etc. Now she calls excessively, asking me to go out with her and her friends. Does she want to see me, make me jealous of her ex or make a "fool" out of me again? Is this a setup or does she care about me and want me back? I need advice. I don't want to get hurt again by her. -- ONCE FOOLED

DEAR O.F.: Wow, so many questions, but luckily they all have the same answer: No. She calls because she's selfish, plain and simple. Please never see or speak to her again. She sounds like a cute, manipulative, drama-loving, attention-whore basket case who needs to be liked by everyone, including those she treats like dirt. You deserve much better (and saner). Here's the best advice in the world: Never see or speak to her again. Seriously. Block her number, ignore her e-mails, join the Witness Protection Program. If you fall for her act and let her back in ...

Cat's Call: You'll have nobody to blame but yourself.

DEAR CAT: Do you consider a person "shallow" if he or she won't date someone who is significantly overweight? I am thin, I exercise a lot and I watch what I eat. I just got yelled at by a very heavy guy who said I was a "shallow [expletive]" for not going out with him. I said nothing about his weight, and I could not have been more polite to him! We were both out with co-workers, and we'd been talking casually for a few minutes. He asked me if I wanted to go out sometime, and I said, "No, but thank you so much for asking." We talked a few minutes more, then went our separate ways. Did I say something wrong? -- I WAS SO NICE!

DEAR NICE: Sounds like you did everything right, and he's hypersensitive about a) his weight, and b) rejection. For all he knew you weren't interested in dating someone connected to your work. Or you were already dating someone. Or you're gay. Or you're not interested in dating anyone at all. His name-calling was uncalled for. Just a hunch, but if he acts like that in general, it's not his weight that keeps women at bay. As for your alleged "shallowness," people can't help being attracted to certain physical types. If it's not a matter of attraction and only a matter of superficiality, then yes, you're shallow. But ...

Cat's Call: That's not a crime, just an unattractive trait.