by Jim Camp. Crown Business, 2007.

Do you consider yourself a "born" negotiator or do you usually end up feeling like a loser when you agree to unnecessary compromises? Are you tired of being outsmarted or outmaneuvered?

The traditional win-win type negotiation model encourages all parties to be friendly, agreeable and willing to compromise in order to reach an agreement. But after reading Jim Camp's "NO: The Only Negotiation System You Need for Work and Home," you may be surprised to find that the best way to get to yes is to start with no.

Mr. Camp's methods can make you a winner at the negotiating table once he convinces you that, "No, the word you have been trained to fear is, in fact, the word that will change your life for the better, forever."

How does it work? The first step is crucial. Before the negotiating session begins, make it clear that both you and your opponents have the right to say "no" at any time without fear that the other side will interpret this as a personal or hostile rejection. A respectful difference of opinion will level the playing field and set the stage for honest, thoughtful discussions. Both sides will have a clear understanding of where they stand and what they need to do to keep moving in a positive direction. Remember, you're not at the table to make friends; you are there to close a deal.

There are many things that you can't control in a meeting and just as many things that you can. You can't control the outcome of the negotiation, but you can control your emotions and behavior. There is no substitute for meticulous preparation to keep you calm and composed, and this is what makes "NO" such a unique resource. It offers detailed steps that explain how to prepare for the meeting, how to conduct yourself at the table, and what to do when the session is about to conclude.

Expert negotiators can trick you into becoming overeager and revealing too much in order to impress the other side. Coming across as needy is the number one deal-killer and must be avoided at any cost. You'll learn how to make sure you don't fall into these traps. If you ask your questions in a courteous, nonconfrontational way, you'll have the advantage of putting the other side at ease.

Having a carefully prepared agenda will make you look competent, and listening carefully to the answers of your questions will help you understand the situation from the other side's perspective. Mr. Camp is a great believer in taking great notes for three reasons: you won't be able to talk as much, you will be perceived as an attentive listener, and you will have an accurate record of what was said. There are many ways to get your point across besides saying, "I know what's best for you and this is what you need to do," or agreeing to terms that are not in the best interests of your company.

"NO" will make you aware of the subtle behaviors and actions that make the difference between winning and losing in today's competitive marketplace. You'll hone your new skills through a variety of structured exercises until you become thoroughly comfortable with every step of the entire negotiation process.

When it's time to meet with important decision-makers you'll be prepared and ready to go. Do yourself a favor -- say YES to reading "NO: The Only Negotiating System You Need for Work and Home." It might be one of the smartest career moves you'll ever make.