Old-time radio stuff, over which I have little or no control, frequently bobs up and down in my brain. It manifests itself on long turnpike trips, 45-minute waits in the dermatologist's office and especially during idle hours spent in airports.

I can't believe that everyone my age is similarly troubled. In today's sophisticated electronic age, such 50-year-old radio snippets would be considered to be from the Stone Age. Yet, they persist.

I can be drifting off on the side porch when suddenly a man, sobbing through his tears, calls out, "For crying out loud, come to Tile City! (Sob! Sob!) THAT'S TILE CITY!"

After recovering from that assault, I may begin to hum the insistent, "Hurry on down to Hardee's, where the burgers are charcoal broiled."

Then, perhaps, "Three rooms, three-ninety-eight! Three rooms, three-ninety-eight!"

And:

"... here's KQV's 'Jelly Roll' Jan Andre to nail down the lid and ease us off the air."

"Thish iss Ed Fleigenbaum shaying, 'I'll be lookin' for youse!"

"We've got a bug-on-the-rug! Goin' all the way to the monument in right center! With Clemente's speed, it could be ... it will be! Bobby's got another stand-up triple!"

"When it's Ralston time in Texas ... and the bloom is on the sage ..."

"This is Elder Charles Beck, coming to you LIVE from the Hill District's own Church of God in Christ at the top of Centre Avenue."

"Wha-a-a-t A tom-a-a-a-to!"

"Box ... and Reserved Seat Tickets ... for Sunday's doubleheader ... with the Boston Braves ... may be picked up ... at the Forbes Field Box Office ... immediately following today's game. ...Thank you."

"Remember; this has been Reese Williams speakin'. You never heard a voice like mine ... and you'll never taste HOT SAUCE like mine."

"I urge you to come to Olbum's and see how much furniture you really do get for only three ninety-eight."

"This is Johnny Boyer inviting you to take 'A Whirl Around the World of Sports,' a Monday through Friday date on KDKA Radio."

"Between you and me it's Koolvent. Between you and me it's Koolvent. Between you and me it's Koolvent ... Koolvent ...buy some Koolvent Awnings today."

"And it shall be my duty as district attorney not only to prosecute all persons accused of crimes perpetrated within this county but to defend with equal vigor the rights and privileges of all its citizens."

"Git him, Gennessee! (BANG) I done got him de-a-a-d-center."

"[tick-tick-tick] There goes a doozie-marooney [tick-tick-tick] down the left field foul line! Could be extra bases! (tick-tick-tick) OH, IT CURVES FOUL!"

"Easy Credit. Easy Credit. Wilkins is the place where you can get it."

"Bye Bye! Buy Bonds!"