DEAR CAT: I usually enjoy your column and the advice you give, but your response to the "nice guy" was garbage. It's human nature to desire the unattainable and be disinterested in the overly available.

You should have been straight with the guy instead of giving him the usual canned rap most women do.

Do you want to ask a question? Send an e-mail to questions@ catscall.com or write to:

Catherine Specter
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
34 Blvd. of the Allies
Pittsburgh, Pa. 15222

... or visit her Web site at catscall.com

I imagine it's difficult for many women to admit they consistently fall for "jerks," but I would think your duty as a dispenser of advice would place you above that. If what you say is really true, why are nice guys still complaining decade after decade of the same treatment in response to their "niceness?" -- GIVE IT STRAIGHT

DEAR GIVE IT: Nice guys complain for two reasons: 1. They're treated badly when they don't deserve it (which makes them no different from anyone else). 2. They're not actually nice. There is a simple truth that nice people never want to accept: Sometimes people just don't like each other and no amount of sweetness or meanness will change it. If you've been nice to a woman who ends up treating you badly, there's nothing wrong with you. There's something wrong with her. Likewise, if you act like a jerk and a woman really wants you, there's something wrong with both of you. The goal is to find someone who complements you, makes you smile and brings out the best in you. That's a tough gig to find! If you're a nice, funny, smart, mature, considerate man who lowers his standard of behavior (i.e. becomes a jerk) to score a woman and she falls for it ...

Cat's Call: You deserve each other.

DEAR CAT: Last week you wrote that starting a long-distance relationship could be the best thing for the couple in question. Basically, you said if he moved away for a job then the relationship might really take off. I've lived in Palo Alto, Calif., for six years. Two of those years I was in a relationship with my now-ex who moved to Chicago for work. The two years we both lived here things were wonderful, then it died within a year of his moving away. That year was awful! I think it's only responsible for you to "re-Call" that answer because anyone in that situation should end it and move on. -- IT'S NOT WORTH TRYING

DEAR I.N.W.T.: I see your point and I'll raise you three: I never said long distance would be easy. I didn't say it should be permanent, nor did I say the woman should commit to the guy who's moving away. Your relationship switched to long distance after two years together, but theirs has barely started. Why assume it can't work for them just because it didn't work for you? If two people are crazy about each other yet they don't end up together forever, it's not because of distance. Yes, geography can work for or against you in the larger sense, but distance itself cannot be blamed for a breakup.

Cat's Call: If your boyfriend moved far away -- without you -- after two "wonderful" years, the relationship wasn't a No. 1 priority.