DEAR CAT: Maybe you can help me. I think you truly offer valuable, gender-neutral advice, so do you have any advice for overcoming the stigma of "Mr. Nice"? It's the first thing women notice; however, it doesn't seem to be enough to sustain a relationship. -- LOOKIN' FOR LOVE

DEAR L.F.L.: No one characteristic is enough to sustain a relationship (well, maybe one, but ...). The Nice Guy stigma is stupid; it convinces men that women actually want them to be jerks, and it's simply not true. Sure, most women have fallen for a bad guy, but that's just about mysteriousness and insecurity. Eventually both wear off and things end. Real, true, crazy, over-the-moon-ness comes from chemistry and being treated like you're the most special person on Earth. Trust me, niceness isn't boring or unexciting, and a relationship will never fail because you're a good guy. You can be cool and surprising and sweep women off their feet and still be a cream puff. Come to think of it ...

Cat's Call: That's the best combination of all.

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DEAR CAT: I have always been overweight. Not huge but definitely not thin. But I'm not one of those people who talks or complains about her weight (like those people who just want you to say, "no, you're not fat"). I never felt ugly because of my weight. It was just part of who I was. In the past year I have lost more than 30 pounds by completely changing my diet and starting an exercise routine. I couldn't feel better! But I know I'm not imagining it that my friends have changed their attitude toward me. It's hard to explain, but I feel it in my gut: They're not happy that I'm feeling and looking fantastic. Two of my friends are somewhat overweight, and I wonder if maybe they're jealous? We barely hang out anymore. They won't even go for walks with me (not exercise walks, just casual strolls)! What's your call? -- LOOKING FANTASTIC

DEAR L.F.: First off, congratulations! Thirty-plus pounds is a serious accomplishment. Now on to your friends ... trust your gut instincts because they're usually right. It's sad but true: People often resent the happiness and accomplishments of others. Too many people are comfortable when others fare poorly in their endeavors -- personal, romantic, professional or otherwise. This may be about more than jealousy. If your friends don't possess your brand of determination, they might be intimidated by it. On the other hand, maybe your friends have a reasonable explanation for making you question their actions. Have a little talk and see if you're not mistaken. They probably need more time to adjust to the "new" you. Or skip the coddling and unleash a little determination on them.

Cat's Call: Sounds like they need to grow up, get over it and get behind you 100 percent.