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Bugs, snakes and monkey brains: A taste of Indy's past exploits
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Ray Winstone (partially obscured at left), Shia LaBeouf and Harrison Ford in "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull."

As Indiana Jones tells Marion Ravenwood near the end of "Raiders of the Lost Ark": "It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage."

That was 27 years ago, when the odometer on Harrison Ford, Karen Allen and the "Indiana Jones" franchise showed low, low mileage. Indiana may have been the name of story mastermind George Lucas' dog, but the series certainly hasn't been a movie mutt.

Since the release of the first adventure in June 1981, the trilogy has grossed more than $1.2 billion around the world.

In July 1984, it also prompted the creation of the PG-13 rating after complaints that "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" was too intense for PG. The movie also introduced actress Kate Capshaw to the man who would become her husband: director Steven Spielberg.

The women, however, always have taken a back seat to the archaeologist with the signature shadow.

"I think with the exception of the shark in 'Jaws' and 'E.T.,' I've only made a couple of movies where I can put the silhouette of the leading character up on the screen -- just the silhouette -- and people immediately know where that came from," Spielberg says in a DVD extra on a new "Indiana Jones" set.

His goal nearly three decades ago had been modest: to prove he could make a movie "responsibly, economically and under budget," after "Jaws," "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" and "1941" all went over budget and schedule.

In 1977, Spielberg told pal Lucas he longed to direct a movie like the ones he was raised on, "spectacular international adventure stories." Republic Pictures had churned out such cheaply made black-and-white serials, which youthful moviegoers gobbled up with their popcorn.

Lucas came up with the idea of Indiana Jones while making "Star Wars" but was too busy to explore it. He banked it and later created the character and stories for the franchise, while the screenplays were written by, respectively, Lawrence Kasdan, the team of Willard Huyck and Gloria Katz, and the late Jeffrey Boam.

David Koepp handled the writing duties on the new film and as it opens, we look back at the first three:

'Raiders of the Lost Ark'

Release date: Friday, June 12, 1981.

Short take: Archaeologist Indiana Jones and former flame Marion Ravenwood head to Cairo to make sure the Ark of the Covenant (the golden chest said to hold the broken Ten Commandment tablets) doesn't fall into Nazi hands.

Opening backdrop: South America 1936.

Love that line: "Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?" -- Indiana Jones, encountering his worst nightmare.

Signature moments: Indy runs from a giant rolling boulder. When confronted by a man wielding a scimitar, Indy draws his gun and shoots him. Indy and Marion are trapped amid thousands of slithering snakes, and, near the picture's end, one villain's head blows up, one shrinks and the other's face melts right down to the skull.

Romantic interest: Three cheers for Allen's character. True, Marion is forced into a damsel-in-distress frock, but when we first meet her, she's drinking a large Nepalese man under the table. For money. In the new movie, Indy confesses post-Marion flings but adds, "There were a few, but they all had the same problem -- they weren't you, honey." Aw.

What we said: In his review, the PG's George Anderson wrote: "For Ford, who made surliness uniquely appealing in his role as Han Solo in the 'Star Wars' epics, the character of Indiana Jones should be his long-overdue star-marking role. He gives credibility to an intentionally one-dimensional role, and he adds humor and warmth.

"His shooting of a sword-waving tribesman draws old-fashioned cheers from the movie audience.

"That's the point, of course. 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' is like the best Saturday afternoon serial ever made, except that we don't have to wait until next week to find out how the hero survives."

Domestic gross: $245 million, according to Media By Numbers.

International gross: Another $141.8 million.

How it holds up: Surprisingly well, and it helps to know those snakes weren't conjured by a computer.

'Indiana Jones and the temple of Doom'

Release date: Wednesday, May 23, 1984.

Short take: Indiana Jones survives an attempt to poison him in a Shanghai nightclub, where singer Willie Scott (Capshaw) is performing. Indy, Willie and a boy named Short Round end up in India's Pankot Palace, where monkey brains are on the menu and children have been turned into slave laborers digging for sacred stones. And that's just for starters.

Opening backdrop: Shanghai, 1935.

Love that line: "You could get killed chasing after your damn fortune and glory," Willie tells Indy, who replies, "Maybe. But not today."

Signature moments: A villain yanks the heart out of sacrificial victim's chest, and Indy, Willie and Short Round escape in mine carts that hurtle along like an amusement park ride.

Romantic interest: Willie whines about everything, as when she's asked to hold Indy's just-fired gun. She drops it out a car window and complains, "I burnt my fingers and I cracked a nail!" In an extra on the DVD, actress Capshaw says she told the filmmakers there was too much screaming.

What we said: In his review, the PG's Anderson wrote, "There is a whole middle sequence that grows nasty to the point of being troublesome. There was plenty of violence in 'Raiders of the Lost Ark,' but it all had a grand adventure accent that made it palatable. This time, things get a bit ugly with floggings of children, hideous bugs crawling in the heroine's hair, a body bursting into flames as it's lowered into what seems to be a volcano and a banquet scene that could inspire the greatest mass barfing since 'The Exorcist.'

"But even this devilish business is a reflection of the untamed boyishness of Spielberg and Lucas. They delight in showing us a spread of eyeball soup, chilled monkey brains, cooked beetles and live snakes in the same spirit of 11-year-old boys trying to gross out their little sisters at the dinner table."

Domestic gross: Nearly $179.9 million.

International gross: Another $153 million.

How it holds up: Not well. If released today, we could just imagine the hue and cry over the sight of Short Round driving a car, the way Willie is depicted and the movie's portrait of a people who believe in child slave labor, human sacrifices, voodoo and other cult mumbo jumbo.

'Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade'

Release date: Wednesday, May 24, 1989.

Short take: After a look at Indiana Jones as a boy, the action advances to 1938, when Indy learns his father (Sean Connery) has disappeared while searching for the Holy Grail, the chalice used by Christ at the Last Supper. Indy heads for Venice and, later, Germany, where he improbably gets Adolf Hitler's autograph.

Opening backdrop: Utah, 1912, where River Phoenix plays Indy as a Boy Scout who tries to stop men from looting artifacts he believes belong in a museum. This opening passage shows the origins of his snake phobia, the scar across his chin, his skill with a whip and the "look" he would later adopt.

Love those lines: All from Indy: "Oh, rats." Later, "Nazis, I hate these guys." Later still, "I told you, don't call me Junior!"

Signature moments: Indy and his father are tied back to back in a castle that's a Nazi fortress. They also share a cycle and a sidecar and, right after we learn the origins of Indiana's name, ride off into the sunset.

Romantic interest: Elsa Schneider, played by Alison Doody, is a fetching blonde who seems solicitous upon Indy's arrival in Venice but proves treacherous. Not only did she bed Henry Jones Sr. and Jr. (dad spills the beans by saying Elsa talks in her sleep), but she's also a Nazi.

What we said: In his review, the PG's Anderson wrote, " 'Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade' is as good as an adventure movie gets. The action is high-style, knockout and non-stop. If this is to be the last Indiana Jones movie, as everyone insists, then they've all had the good sense to go out in top form.

"Steven Spielberg, George Lucas and their considerable forces have combined to make this the most relentlessly exciting of all the spectacularly cinematic Indiana Jones movies.

"The stunts are more stunning, the sets more eye-popping, the gags broader, the predicaments more challenging and the triumph more soaring.

"But one of the biggest reasons for the film's hugely satisfying nature is the addition of Professor Jones, Indy's scholarly father who is played to perfection by Sean Connery."

Domestic gross: $197 million.

International gross: Another $297.6 million.

How it holds up: Watch it today and you'll have few complaints. It's sad to see Phoenix and know he would be dead in four years, but teaming Ford with Connery was genius.

Post-Gazette movie editor Barbara Vancheri can be reached at bvancheri@post-gazette.com or 412-263-1632.
First published on May 22, 2008 at 12:00 am