Feeling happy today? Well, no, of course not. It's Monday, and the weather conditions are morphing from those of June to November, and the weekend's NFL draft brought the Steelers offensive line no closer to successfully blocking the John J. Kane Regional Center's all-star team.

But if you're in Pittsburgh, where our older citizens predominate everywhere except in Oakland, at Forever 21 and around the mayor's office, you should sense a certain aura of contentedness abounding. A new round of research from the University of Chicago highlighted how age affects one's satisfaction in life.

Basically, Americans grow happier as they grow older, as revealed by their responses since 1972 to the following General Social Survey question: "Taken all together, how would you say things are these days -- would you say that you are happy, pretty happy, or not too happy?"

The analysis by sociology researcher Yang Yang found that fewer than one-third of 18-year-olds are very happy and things get even worse for baby boomers, by their own estimation.

Basically, baby boomers feel stressed and are having a hard time living up to expectations. (Think Pat Ford, or in the case of younger people, Matt Morris or Heather Bresch.)

But by old age, about half of Americans are very happy. Older people generally have learned to be more content with what they have than younger adults.

"Life gets better in one's perception as one ages," Ms. Yang told The Associated Press. It helps that more people in their later years have access to a proportionally fair amount of key resources such as income and health care.

Taking the research to the extreme, one really happy person should be Edna Parker, who turned 115 this month in Shelbyville, Ind. The oldest known person in the world doesn't have a lot to say, but she laughed and smiled when relatives and guests released 115 balloons in her honor outside her nursing home.

Her grandson told the AP that Ms. Parker's never been a worrier. That might have boosted her longevity, as research on centenarians has shown them to manage stress much better than other people.

If teenagers are unhappy, it could be from a sense that no one older wants them around, with a device named the Mosquito the primary example.

A company called Kids Be Gone -- we're guessing We Hate Kids was already taken -- has sold nearly 1,000 Mosquitos in the past year. They're wall-mounted boxes that emit a high-pitched, piercing noise far more annoying to young people than old, since the latter can barely hear it.

The Mosquitos first became popular overseas for use around public and private places where teens were loitering and harassing people. Some groups have objected that their use harmed the rights and, possibly, the health of young people.

The town of Great Barrington, Mass., banned the device last year after a movie theater owner installed one, and Milford, Conn., backed off its plans to put one in a park. But plenty of others are dispersing teens without an outcry, such as around a Queens apartment building where the superintendent called it "a miracle."

You may have seen the story in last week's Post-Gazette raising concern about teens using too much shortcut slang, carrying over their instant messaging and texting habits. One example might be the upcoming MTV reality series, "Paris Hilton's My New BFF."

Aside from the fact that a perpetual Mosquito over Ms. Hilton's head might do everyone some good, we have a hard time getting on board with her manner of obtaining a BFF. A BFF, in case you're wondering whether you have one, is a "best friend forever."

We don't usually put people through auditions on national television to find our BFFs, but here's what we'd suggest for Ms. Hilton, based on how we do it:

1) Stick some obvious food particle between your teeth and see whether your potential BFF mentions it, to help you avoid other embarrassment.

2) Mention that you're moving some heavy stuff on Saturday, and time the potential BFF on how long it takes to volunteer to help.

3) Borrow $10, promising to repay it the next day, and then see how long it takes before the potential BFF brings up the fact that you still owe it.

• (SFW = Safe for Work)