I can only imagine how relieved the Carnegie Mellon University community must be to have, at long last, a real animal mascot. Thanks to the generosity of Bill Cosby, who is going to buy the university a dog, Carnegie Mellon will soon have a mascot that can be trotted around at games -- as long as someone trots along behind with a plastic bag.

When I was in grad school at CMU, I thought it was odd to have a team called the Tartans. I never went to any games, but I always had this mental picture of student cheerleaders bouncing around the sidelines accompanied by a huge plush kilt, which could dance and wave but had to avoid handsprings.

I have experience with doggie mascots; my undergraduate alma mater represented itself with a bulldog, the latest incarnation of which would often appear on a leash at football games, walking a straighter line than most of the students.

Our teams were also referred to as the Bulldogs, so will CMU teams change their names too? Will they stop being the Tartans and start being the Ankle-Biters? The Scotties? Or maybe the Terriers? The name Scotties is already taken, by the teams of Agnes Scott College in Decatur, Ga., and Boston University is one of several colleges whose teams are known as the Terriers. Unlike dogs, textile patterns are, at least, unusual.

All the good animal team names have been done to death. Eagles, Tigers, Bulldogs, Panthers, Lions and Bears -- oh my! -- are squaring off against one another in stadiums on campuses (or stadia on campi, for you Latin fans) all over the nation. The Lions may be Golden or Nittany, the Bears may be Polar or Blue, but pretty much everybody is Fightin'. Except, of course, the Earlham College Hustlin' Quakers, because Quakers can't be fightin'.

(I wasn't previously aware they danced, either.)

Among the other mascot options CMU considered was a robot, and, with all due respect to Bill Cosby, I think a robot mascot -- Mascbot? Scotbot? -- would be really cool, especially if it were equipped with some sort of projectile-launching capability.

You know, like a gun that shoots T-shirts into the crowd, or tear gas at the opposing team.

A mascbot would also really say "21st century," unlike a lot of the mascots college teams are stuck with. The University of Pennsylvania has Ben Franklin, and Harvard has, uh, John Harvard. And the fans go crazy when the marching bands roll out their harpsichords.

At least CMU didn't go with Andrew Carnegie as a mascot, forcing some unfortunate kid to don an enormous, distorted white-bearded head on game day, confusing fans from other schools.

"What the hell is that? Santa Claus? Their mascot is Santa Claus?"

"No, stupid. It's Ernest Hemingway."

And then they'd have to rename the team the (Fightin') Librarians. Or maybe the Pinkertons.

Don't get me wrong -- a robot would have been really sharp and creative, but you can do a lot worse than a dog. Many schools have.

The University of Miami's mascot is an ibis. It's an eco-friendly tribute to local waterfowl, but it doesn't sound particularly tough. I guess an urban campus like CMU could have gone with a pigeon, but then you'd have people trying to smuggle loaves of bread into the stadium, or possibly air rifles.

Syracuse has Otto the Orange. As far as I know, he's the only fruit mascot, which is weird when you think of all the agricultural schools that could have gone with Gary the Grape Tomato or Sammy the Seedless Raisin.

On the other hand, you get too many produced-based mascots in the same game and your sidelines start looking like a Fruit-of-the-Loom commercial.

UC Santa Cruz's mascot is a banana slug.

The University of Idaho's mascot is called Joe Vandal, which seems odd until you learn their teams are called the Vandals. Win or lose, you can expect your goal posts to be pulled down and your restrooms sacked.

The decision to choose a new mascot is a golden opportunity to be original. Some of the new online schools could go with Marvin Mouse or Beta the Bug.

I wish schools choosing dogs would at least try a new or unusual breed. Larry the Labradoodle?

But CMU is getting a Scottie, and now that they have a dog, they'll have to arrange to play Stanford.

Stanford's unofficial mascot is a tree.