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Dispatch: Our woman (who was) in Thailand
In a young-parent funk? Spice up your life with a travel adventure
Monday, March 24, 2008
And Buddha makes three: A mother and child moment in Angkor Wat, Cambodia.

Suzanne Pace and Tim Kaulen of Polish Hill spent two weeks trekking around Thailand and Cambodia last month. Along with the bug spray and sunscreen, they took their 8-month-old child, Sophia.

Were they daring -- or nuts?

In short, they not only survived, they thrived, despite the occasional mishap.

Suzanne (writer) and Tim (photographer) chronicled the adventure in this space -- click here to read the entire series -- with selections in print.

Re-entry, however, was not such a breeze.

The weary travelers arrived at JFK airport early on a Sunday morning, Feb. 24, to find their connecting Delta flight to Pittsburgh canceled due to bad weather. Next available flight: Monday, 6:30 a.m.

They spent a desperate day at JFK, trying to make new arrangements, while the world-weary Sophia performed multiple baby meltdowns. After much hysterics, they ended up buying tickets for a JetBlue flight to Pittsburgh that night ...


Two hundred thirty dollars and three hours later, we're at the baggage claim area at Pittsburgh International Airport.

Emily, my best pal, picks us up. Seeing her after those two weeks and hellish past few hours was a great relief. Tim and I are George Romero characters -- pale, lumping along, disheveled, unable to speak, occasionally grunting. Emily loads us in the car and we head back to Polish Hill.

I have absolutely no memory of the next 48 hours. Somehow our dog, Eli, is home, but I have no recollection of retrieving him from the boarder -- which cost us, by the way, more than Sophia's airline ticket to Thailand. Good God. What a racket.

When I awoke from the post-travel haze, I was at my desk at work, on the South Side, trying to wrap my head around Board of Director reports and budgets. And now, with a few weeks home under my belt, I think I can safely say I have made a full recovery.


The first week was rather difficult. Mostly for Sophia. But Tim and I were both so completely excited by the positive response we have gotten from our neighborhood in Polish Hill, as well as others in the city, it made being home pretty nice. All of the neighbors recognized baby Sophia and were excited to read about her adventures. It was just so sweet.

But besides that, readjusting in general was tough. She and Tim both usually fell asleep around 8 p.m. and slept long and hard til about 4. Then they would awaken and want to talk, play, read, eat and, basically, be entertained.

Sophia was actually much easier to deal with. Poor Tim went through a sort of time disconnect for about a solid week. Every night he slept a bit more, and a bit longer, but it took time to moderate. I, too, was having some difficulty, but not as extreme.


In the end, I have to say, we would do it again, for sure.

Honestly, we did in fact choose fairly navigable places, ones in which a Westerner would do well with a little patience, interest and, of course, moxie.

Not everyone could go to Cambodia with an 8-month-old child. (She turned 9 months during the trip. These milestones matter in babyland.) And I'm certainly not suggesting that one should. Or feel obliged to. Or advocating the safety of it. One wrong turn, one misplaced step -- and it could have all gone incredibly wrong.

However, I do think that some people, especially new moms, need an adventure like that to make them feel somehow connected with reality ... which, as most moms know, goes bye-bye when your own child occupies 110 percent of your mind space, 110 percent of the time.

For some people, getting away for the weekend accomplishes this. But for Tim and me, I think doing what we did (or do) -- that is explore, travel, have adventures -- is also who we are as a couple and why we have a bond, and makes us really like each other. When traveling and exploring, you are really forced to trust your partner. And we do trust one another immensely.

Schlepping a baby along took that trust to an entirely new level. You know what? We did great. It was really refreshing. It was like two full weeks of make-up sex.

Considering the confusion, doubt, frustration and downright anger that accompany being a parent (especially a new parent who is over 40), you better believe that reconfirming and rediscovering both the adventure and trust in our relationship through travel have done wonders for us.

Hey, we do have a life here ... and it's fun, and includes doing fun stuff with the kid.

I get it now.


In conclusion: Tips for young parents embarking on an adventurous journey with infant in tow:

Prepare for the transitions: Food, drinks, independence, sleep, new needs -- they will surface. Once out of the regular schedule, our kid seemed to go in many new directions, such as wanting to eat by herself, wanting to crawl more, needing to see everything all the time. We had to adjust to her and fast.

Double-check airline policies for infant travel and any surcharges. Make that triple-check: We thought we had checked, but discovered at the point of departure that young Sophia needed a flight document to Bangkok (414 bucks, please).

• Double check with pediatrician, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and any resource for updated info on health and safety issues. For instance, if we were staying longer than two weeks in Cambodia, and exploring the country, Sophia would have gotten shots for malaria and hepatitis.

• With a little tiny, non-ambulatory kid, a backpack-style baby carrier is essential. Just get one.

Stay away from risky foods. Tim and I love weird, spicy, adventurous food. But we both stayed away from street vendors and carts while in Thailand and Cambodia.

Why, when a huge part of the culture is built around street food? Because one bad bite would have put either him or me or both of us down for the count. Sophia would have really paid the price. We needed to be healthy all the time.

Street foods would have to wait for another vacation. Instead we had wonderful regional foods in cafes and restaurants.

Accept that French people are attractive. This is just a fact. We saw enough of them. They look better than you and I do when traveling. Get over it.

Splurge for decent lodgings. The rule of thumb: Take your usual and do about a $25 upgrade. Hey, if you have the cash, then by all means, hello Four Seasons! But if you can't, at least upgrade.

You absolutely need a clean water source. If you have to share showers, that's your call, but your room must have a toilet and sink. For one, you don't want to leave your kid alone when you go to the bathroom. And second, in the event of projectile bodily discharges (not unusual), you need to have water to clean.

• Budget-minded travelers, take our advice: Don't scrimp on tips. Of course, you'll be polite and respectful with hotel staff: you're a nice person. But especially when traveling with a little kid, you're going to need all kinds of extra help and kindnesses. Tip well, early and often. You won't insult them. There is no shame. It's a service industry.

Save extra dough for the exit tax.

• Make sure you pack the familiar blanket for snuggle time. The feel and smell will be familiar and your kid will appreciate that.

Get Valium.


Suzanne Pace (suzpace@gmail.com) launched the American Shorts Reading Series and now works at Social Innovation Accelerator, which bolsters nonprofit organizations. Tim Kaulen (www.kaulen-art.com) is a sculptor and photographer. He is co-founder of the Industrial Arts Co-Op and president of the Brewhouse Association on the South Side.
First published on March 24, 2008 at 12:00 am
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