Another scandalized politician. Another shell-shocked wife.

Following the crisis playbook that says "thou shalt be dragged to the podium and stand by your husband," New York first lady Silda Wall Spitzer grimaced next to her husband, Gov. Eliot Spitzer, during his mea culpa news conference Monday in the face of a call-girl scandal.

The Harvard-educated Mrs. Spitzer looked so shattered that political consultant Cathy Allen could barely watch.

"Enough already -- get her out of there!" said Ms. Allen, communications chairwoman for the American Association of Political Consultants. "Why, oh why they make the wives pay with such public humiliation is beyond me. It only works to make women feel the guy is even more stupid."

Though the traditional political thinking is that a wife's forgiveness will elicit voter forgiveness, Ms. Allen believes the strategy has backfired as the public has grown weary of one too many wives who look like they are being walked to an executioner's chair during their husband's scandal.

The disgraced politician's wives club keeps getting more crowded: Hillary Rodham Clinton, the presidential candidate who as first lady endured Monicagate; Dina Matos McGreevey, ex-wife of New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey who resigned over a gay affair; Wendy Vitter, wife of Louisiana Sen. David Vitter who engaged a prostitute; and Carlita Kilpatrick, wife of Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick who was caught sending explicit text messages to an aide.

Ms. Allen cites a "gender gap" in the reaction to the Spitzer news conference and the lurid headlines over accusations involving a high-priced call girl named Kristen who charged thousands of dollars per hour. Men interviewed by political consultants often remarked on how stupid it was for Mr. Spitzer to sacrifice his career, while women were outraged that he would trot his wife out for a photo op designed to salvage his career.

Stanley Renshon, professor of political science and a psychoanalyst at the City University of New York, said he also thinks the strategy of bringing out a devastated wife backfires.

"Anyone with a modicum of judgment says, 'Why is this guy doing this?' It adds insult to injury. It is a testimony to his lack of sensitivity," Dr. Renshon said. "She looks likes she got hit over a head by a sledgehammer."

He said the strategy only works if the wife refutes the allegations as in the case of Cindy McCain, who stood by her man, presidential candidate John McCain, in denying he had had an affair with a lobbyist.

"She doesn't look weak," he said.

But why would Mrs. Spitzer, an intelligent lawyer, agree to such a humiliating photo op?

"As much as she probably would like to whack him over the head with a purse, it is damage control," said Ruth Houston, the New York City-based founder of infidelityadvice.com and the author of "Is He Cheating on You: 829 Telltale Signs."

The woman can stay home if she knows she is going to bolt, Ms. Houston said.

But if there is any chance the marriage can be salvaged -- something she may not know for many months -- the wife has to go through the excruciating process of standing by her man, she said.

"There you are in front of the whole world being humiliated," she said.

"How many people could go through that?"