Q: At 71, I never expected my 69-year-old husband to pull up stakes and leave me for another woman, but it happened. We were relatively financially comfortable with our two pensions, two Social Security incomes and other savings; however, all of that is being turned upside down. He wants to sell our home, but with the real estate market as it is, I think we will both be losing, and I can't afford to buy out his half interest.

I have interviewed several lawyers but can't seem to find one I think can help me through this difficult time. Most of my family lives quite a distance away, and our children say they don't want to get involved in this mess because they don't want to alienate either of us. Before this happened, I often thought how difficult it would be for me to live alone should my husband die before me; however, the prospect of the future under these circumstances seems very bleak, indeed. Any suggestions?

A: According to some studies, more older Americans are seeing their long-term relationships crumble after 40, 50 and even 60 years of marriage. Generally, in these situations, both husband and wife have long passed their peak earning years and will have little opportunity to acquire more assets or retirement in the future.

Coupled with the decline in the real estate market, the risk of the stock market and the rising costs of goods and services as juxtaposed against incomes that are not keeping up with inflation, it's not a pretty picture for younger people and could well be a financial catastrophe for seniors.

For example, unless you get very lucky, putting your home on the market today will most probably result in a long sales cycle and reduced price, especially if you have an older home that needs renovation or sprucing up. And, assuming you are able to sell, half the equity won't buy either of you what you have now. While renting may be an option, the change in lifestyle and what some describe as a lack of privacy could well result in depression and melancholy that sometimes accompanies living alone.

As you have undoubtedly read, your future and that of your husband may well be affected by the significant financial exposures associated with long-term care, the shifting of health care expenses to seniors and related issues. While we don't know your precise financial situations and incomes, it appears that there will not be enough to allow you both to enjoy whatever lifestyle you previously enjoyed, and the cost of long-term care insurance appears to be beyond your reach.

In addition, it is more likely than not that neither of you has sufficient life insurance -- if any at all -- to do much planning. You both will have to update your wills, durable powers of attorney for financial purposes and advance health care directives.

While wealthier people can afford long-term care in a nursing facility, middle-income families will be financially stretched to cover the costs of this care, particularly since governmental benefits are shrinking.

When compared to annual inflation, the costs of medical care, prescriptions and Medicare supplements have been increasing at a much higher rate. Therefore, if you intend to engage in any type of long-term care planning, now would be that time; however, as you describe your situation, it would appear that if you live long enough and require nursing-home care, you may both find yourselves on Medicaid rolls.

To save money, you could look at Medicare options, but we would not suggest you do so without a thorough investigation because, in some instances, a switch to save premiums may result in less coverage and greater financial exposure.

Bottom line: It won't be a pretty picture, we're afraid, but there is little you can do about it other than plan as best you can under the circumstances.