DEAR CAT: Recently you wrote about how friends with benefits could work. Why do people do this? What happened to basic values and morals, self-respect and class? I understand that sex is great, but we're not animals. It's no wonder that people -- especially guys -- have learned to expect it rather than taking things slow and build into a relationship. How can two people have sex repeatedly but have no feelings for each other whatsoever? Please help me understand why this goes on. -- DISGUSTED

DEAR DISGUSTED: That's a lot of questions, so let's go point by point. 1. People "do this" because they want to be connected and affectionate, and sometimes friends are attracted to one another just enough to cross the line into something more. 2. You can have morals, self-respect and class and still have sex. 3. We are animals -- the human kind. 4. Not all sex partners want to be couples, just as not all couples are sex partners. 5. I, too, do not believe people can have repeated sexual encounters without developing some feelings for each other. But it's the kind of feeling that is in question. There are many reasons why people enter into sexual relationships, and as hard as it is to accept ...

Cat's Call: Love is not always one of those reasons.

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DEAR CAT: My husband and I are friends with a nice couple, "Bill and Jane." The day before Valentine's Day they dropped off gifts when we weren't home: books for my husband, and lots of stuff for me, including a $25 gift card with a really nice card from Jane. I was dumbfounded. My husband and I give each other only a card or some candy for V-Day. My husband said I should call to thank Jane. I said, "I make 70-80 calls a day at work, and I don't feel like it right now." The following Sunday I made a cute thank-you card for her. Later that day, Bill walked through our door, said "Hi" to my husband and mom, then said to me, "Do you have a phone? Where is it?" He added Jane's number to my phone and said, "She was expecting a call from you." I threw the nice thank-you card to him, and he couldn't understand how he offended me. My mom said Bill was "on a mission" when he came over. I don't know how to react to him. What do you think? -- CONFUSED HOSTESS

DEAR CONFUSED: Your reaction should be twofold. On one hand, you should be insulted and shocked, and your husband should throw any man out the door for ignoring you then touching your phone. "Bill" is pushy, presumptuous, bad-mannered and might have a thing for you. It's probably time to de-friend that guy. On the flip side, you should be apologetic and a tad ashamed. How rude are you to not even call a friend when she surprises you with a menagerie of gifts? I'll tell you how rude: Very. Super rude. And lazy rude, which is the rudest. You couldn't manage a five-minute thank-you phone call in addition to a nice card?

Cat's Call: If you can manage 80 calls per day, you can manage 81.