Eric Chandler and Julie Powell are embarking on major life changes in 2008 that have been 16 years in the making.

The Canonsburg couple plan to move into a home they purchased 1¹/₂ years ago and have been remodeling for the past 12 months.

They're getting married -- after having been together off and on for 16 years and co-parenting their 14-year-old daughter, Jasmine.

They both work full-time jobs. He's trying to lose weight for the wedding. And she's finishing up her business management degree this month. Whew!

"Let's get our house in order. Let's get our life in order," is their mantra, says Mr. Chandler, 34, a customer service representative. "Let's do it all and now is probably about the best time."

Trying to deal with even one major life change can be stressful, but juggling two, three, four or more major changes can be especially challenging.

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The beginning of the year is a time when many people consider making changes to get a fresh start, whether it be losing weight, switching jobs or starting or ending a marriage (in fact, Jan. 8 last year was the busiest day of the year nationally for divorce lawyers, dubbed D-Day).

A major life change/goal should be realistic and have reward potential because a pleasant payoff will help increase a person's motivation to succeed, says Dr. Mark Lepore, an assistant professor in Chatham University's counseling psychology program.

To help this process, people should put their major life change plans/goals down in writing.

"If they're not put down in writing, it's not a goal," he says. "It then becomes a wish or a dream."

It also helps to be specific about the outcome of a major change or goal and have a completion date for it.

"Visualize yourself possessing what you set your goals for," he says. "Visualize yourself having those things you want."

Fear of failure is something that many face when seeking a major change. Developing coping skills to handle the stress also is important, said Dr. Paul Larson, a clinical psychologist at the Chicago School of Professional Psychology.

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Mr. Chandler and his fiancee believe getting married and making a home and a life together with their child will be wonderful. It has been a long time coming and the couple's once-tumultous relationship has come full circle.

"At one time, the name Eric was just evil to me," says Ms. Powell, 35, of Canonsburg. "We hated each other."

She was 21 when she gave birth to their daughter. He was 20.

"He kind of walked away, hung out with his friends and all," she says. "He needed to find where he was going in life."

It took many years for them both to grow up and be ready to be responsible adults and parents, she says.

"In 2000, I wanted to die because the pain was so unbearable, being by myself and raising our daughter and the pain of our breakup," she says.

At that time, she put Mr. Chandler out of her mind and started pursuing some individual goals. She threw herself into work, school, church and raising their daughter. She and Jasmine also became involved in Bible studies, and Jasmine prayed that mommy and daddy would get back together again someday.

"They tell you whenever you least expect it or give up on it, that's when things happen," says Ms. Powell, an administrative assistant.

One day during a visitation session in 2003, the couple wondered what might have happened had things worked out between them and they decided to try again.

"I truly believe, in our on-and-off relationship, we've learned a lot being by ourselves and then breaking up and seeing other people," he says. "I was by myself and God spoke to me and said, 'You need to take care of your family.' "

That was around December 2005. He proposed in May 2006 and they've been planning their future ever since.

"Now, I know it was nothing but God that brought us through," she says. "It's a miracle."

Ms. Powell believes their story can be motivating and inspirational to others.

"There are a lot of young, single parents who only see what's right in front of them and not that things could change," she says.

The couple plan to have the house remodeling finished in April. Mr. Chandler's weight loss goal is 40 pounds by the wedding, which tentatively is slated for Aug. 1. He already has lost 10 pounds. Jasmine, now head cheerleader at Central Christian Academy in Houston, Washington County, is going to be her mother's maid of honor.

"It is a lot trying to work full time, remodeling a home and planning a wedding," says Ms. Powell, who also worries about her mother, who is seriously ill. "We've never owned a home and never been married before and there's a lot of detail-oriented planning."

There are times when they look at each other say, "What are we doing?" Laughter, prayer and planning get them through, she says.

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If a particular change or goal seems overwhelming, Dr. Lepore suggests making it smaller, breaking it down into more manageable parts.

"Saying 'I want to lose 50 pounds' is more overwhelming than saying, 'I want to lose a pound and a half a week,' " Dr. Lepore says.

Sometimes, to go faster, a person needs to go slower. When Dr. Lepore ran his first marathon, he was moving along at a decent clip and had some seven-minute miles. However, in the long run, he couldn't sustain that pace and ended up finishing in a little more than four hours.

The next time out, he decided to run eight-minute-45-second miles and his overall time was faster, a little less than four hours.

"Breaking it into smaller units can help you achieve your goal more efficiently," he says.

People also need to have a support system of friends/family/other interested parties to encourage and help them in achieving their goals, Dr. Lepore says.

"Your goals should be motivational and emotionally charged," he adds. "When you're emotionally invested in it, it really pushes you to spend the time to achieve it."

Fear of failure, indecision about how to pursue a goal and worry and anxiousness can derail goals.

Dr. Larson, who also is a psychology professor and director of the health psychology concentration at the Chicago School of Professional Psychology, says cultivating some form of regular deep relaxation and exercise can help people cope with the stress of tackling a major life change or goal.

"I'm talking about closing your eyes and focusing inward. ... Clear the mind out, relax the body and suspend that active problem solving," he said.

Engaging in some form of deep relaxation -- even if it's only five to 10 minutes a day, three to four days a week -- can help buffer people against the stressful effects of life changes, he says.

Regular aerobic exercise also is a useful and effective treatment for depression and anxiety.

"If a person can do nothing else but those two things, they'll find a significant part of their burden is lifted," Dr. Larson says.

Major change is really difficult.

"So, we really have to cultivate courage and optimism to prepare for major undertakings," Dr. Lepore says.

People also have to forgive themselves when they don't reach or succeed at a goal and be able to regroup and start again.

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That's the case with Mr. Chandler. He has been in college, then dropped out due to lack of money a few times over the years. He has been studying to become a certified personal trainer and plans to return to college some day.

He and his fiancee still worry they're trying to do too much at once, but he remains confident they're going to make it.

"It's been a whole lot of prayer, just allowing God to do what he's going to do," he says. "For me, the No. 8 represents new beginnings and this is an opportunity for us to start a life together in a new year, '08."

Mr. Chandler ran a marathon two years ago and likens all he's going to do this year to running a spiritual marathon.

"I enjoy a challenge," he says. "We're going to get through it and it's going to be fine and now is the right time."