Q: To our surprise, upon visiting our financial adviser, my wife and I have assets of nearly $4 million, mostly due to the fact that we pulled out of the stock market at the right time. This includes my 401(k) and some beach and mountain property my wife inherited. We are in our late 60s and have three grown children and seven grandchildren. We also have long-term care insurance.

We really had not paid much attention to estate planning until now. Our wills, which were prepared in the 1980s, leave everything to the survivor and then to our children. We went to a lawyer, whose explanation was like hearing a foreign language. We want to avoid estate taxes, but we seem to be missing something. Is there a simple solution that will help us?

A: If you leave your wills as is, there will be no estate tax due when the first of you dies; however, when the survivor dies, there could be a substantial tax due because your current wills do not allow either of you to take advantage of the unified credit. Without getting overly complicated, the unified credit allows each of you to leave a specific amount to your heirs without estate-tax consequences. This year, the unified credit is the equivalent of transferring $2 million without estate tax to your heirs. Next year, the exemption level increases to $3.5 million. Congress is still tinkering with what will happen after that; however, by equalizing the ownership of your assets between you and your wife and by using wills with credit-shelter trusts, you should be able to avoid most of the tax that would otherwise be due at the second death. Be sure to see a lawyer who is trained in these areas and who can provide you with a complete plan, including projected tax savings.

Q: My aunt was admitted to a Medicare-Medicaid-certified nursing home in November after suffering a stroke. When her Medicare ran out, we applied for Medicaid, and she was approved. Then she developed pneumonia that required a five-day rehospitalization last month. When the doctor was ready to release her, we were told that her bed had been taken and we would have to find another nursing home. Because we didn't know any better, we got her clothes and personal items from the nursing home and took her home with us for what we thought would be a short time.

We are now going into the second month, and my husband and I can't handle it. Her children refuse to help, and she requires 24/7 care. We can't afford sitters. Is there anything we can do?

A: As you have learned, the worst mistake was taking her home with you. The Nursing Home Reform Act about which we talk so much provides residents who qualify for Medicaid benefits -- but not Medicare -- with what is called "Bed Hold and Readmission" rights. In other words, Medicaid -- but not Medicare -- residents who leave a facility for hospitalization or therapeutic reasons have the right to return. This means that the nursing home must hold the bed for a certain period of time and, if the absence exceeds the bed-hold period and the resident still requires skilled or intermediate nursing services, he or she is entitled to the first available bed in a semi-private room at the facility.

Based on what you have written, five days in the hospital should not exceed the bed-hold period. When your aunt was admitted, the facility should have explained the bed-hold policies to you and provided them to you in writing. And, before your aunt was discharged from the hospital, you should have been told about this right by the discharge planner, especially since the doctor ordered continued nursing-home care.

By taking your aunt home voluntarily, you have probably relinquished her bed at the facility; however, we believe that the denial of these rights by the facility is sufficiently egregious to justify your asking your state ombudsman and licensing agency to investigate.

Taking the NextStep: While we understand that the admission process may seem complicated at a very emotional time, families must take the time to read and understand their rights.