How doth Munch love Mexican food?

Let Munch count the ways. Last Friday, Munch counted to two: a bean burrito for lunch and a trip to Patron Mexican Grill in Pine for dinner.

Munch took Dear One of Munch and two other urban dwellers, Ph.D. Student Friend of Munch and Alt-Country Music-Playing Friend of Munch, for the long, dark ride out to the suburbs.

"It feels like a field trip," piped up PHDSFOM from the back of the Munchmobile.

Patron Mexican Grill, 11675 Perry Highway, Pine, 724-935-3559. Open seven days, take-out menu available.

But when Munch, party of four, finally walked into Patron Mexican Grill, urban snobbery disappeared faster than DOOM can consume a jar of salsa: The place is simply gorgeous.

Booths and tables are imported from Mexico, hand-carved and painted with scenes of food and farmland. Chairs are crackle-painted in lively shades of green, hot pink, orange and yellow.

The restaurant, which opened Sept. 19, is not a chain, although the owner, Martin Bolanos, owns a handful of Mexican restaurants in Tennessee.

Though Munch wasn't initially planning to imbibe, the festive surroundings and nearly full-page margarita menu ("from the recipe of my papa") convinced Munch otherwise.

Although the waiter recommended one of the platinum margaritas (with 17 different tequila choices, ranging from $7 to $9.75 per 16-ounce glass), the Munch party instead decided to share the more value-conscious $15.50 lime margarita pitcher.

And it was splendid. Not too sweet, like so many of the unfortunate lollipop-like restaurant margaritas. And strong enough to go down smoothly but still get Munch a little giddy.

PHDSFOM proclaimed it one of the best margaritas she's ever had, and, trust Munch, she's had many.

The complementary chips and salsa were also pretty darn close to perfect: the chips thick, flavorful and crunchy but not oily, and the salsa citrusy and tangy.

It was at this point that Munch thought that even if the actual entrees were lame, the 30-mile round trip might be worth it just for drinks and chips.

But Munch is happy to report that the entrees were not lame, not lame indeed -- although picking one to order isn't easy.

The menu spans page after colorful page, with more than 50 dinner options. Munch eventually settled on the camerones diablo (spicy shrimp, $13.99), DOOM chose the chipotle el tio (shrimp and sausage in cheese sauce, $13.99), PHDSFOM picked the three-choice combo plate (pork tamale, chicken enchilada, beef taco, $9.99) and ACMPFOM ordered the enchilada supremas (one beef, one chicken, one cheese and one bean enchilada, $9.75).

Munch was pleased to see that Patron doesn't skimp on the shrimp: There were at least a dozen of them, coated in a pleasantly smoky sauce, with just the right amount of spiciness.

ACMPFOM and PHDSFOM both inhaled their dishes, complimenting the varieties of meat that they received, both for less than $10.

But, alas, poor DOOM was struggling. Although the chipotle el tio was not advertised as spicy, the food was perhaps the hottest that DOOM had ever eaten. DOOM was physically sweating, not to mention frantically swiping water and sour cream from others at the table.

Finally DOOM gave up and took the rest of the portion home, though not before ordering an ice cream dessert to cool the fires burning within.

DOOM's desperation aside, however, the Munch party climbed back into the Munchmobile thrilled with the place and eager to return (though perhaps Munch will wait until the price of gas drops below the price of a quesadilla).

Just one postscript: Any review of Patron Mexican Grill would be remiss not to mention the restaurant's most opulent -- and odd -- features: the bathrooms.

The floors are marbled and the faucets gilded. The men's bathroom has a shower that could fit a family, and both rooms have a raised platform that looks suspiciously like where a hot tub might sit.

Were there bizarre bathing rituals that should accompany a Mexican meal? The Munch party grilled Justin, our ever-helpful waiter, about the situation.

About a decade ago, he said, the building was going to be a spa, but construction was never finished. In fact, until now, he said, the building has been mainly vacant for decades.

Here's to hoping that Patron Mexican Grill can fill it for years to come.