This is the second annual retelling of the TechMan Christmas Story, based on a book by some British guy.

TechManeezer Scrooge wakes to jangling gadgets and rustling wires to see a gory spirit with Apple Newtons and Digital Audio Tapes tangled in his hair and chained to a Yugo.

Spirit: I am the ghost of Microsoft Bob. I am held in the shades of this Earth by the doomed tech I have bought and now cannot even sell on eBay.

Scrooge: But spirit, what do you want with me?

Bob: You will be visited by three ghosts.

The bell in the tower peals and the Ghost of Tech Past appears.

Scrooge: Spirit, why do you show me an IBM PC Jr., a Web TV set-top box and a dial-up modem? Are these not tech that is past?

Ghost (in a booming voice): TechManeezer, these are things that you once lusted for and now have abandoned to molder in your attic. Will your CD player be next?

The bell peals and the Ghost of Tech Present appears. He carries a minicomputer and dances to music from an iPod.

Scrooge: You are a gay spirit.

Spirit: The joy you perceive comes from the nifty gadgets I have received for Christmas. Behold, an iTouch and a Wii. Say, have you seen my MySpace page? But there is also sadness this holiday.

He pulls aside his robes to reveal two dirty, shivering children.

Spirit: The girl is little HD DVD and her brother is Tiny BluRay. People can't decide which one to adopt, so they both remain homeless.

A bell peals and the Spirit of Tech Future appears, dressed in a long black robe bearing the words "Recording Industry Association of America."

Scrooge: Spirit, I fear you most of all.

Spirit: TechManeezer, you see a future where Google owns all knowledge and the RIAA has sued everyone in the land. No computers are made in our country, Internet radio is no more and televisions are the size of a drive-in movie screen.

Scrooge: Spirit, I beg you, tell me. Are these things that might be or things that must be?

Spirit: TechManeezer, it is not too late to change. Mankind should be your business, not the cheapest piece of Chinese junk you can buy in Wal-Mart.

Scrooge: Oh, thank you, spirit. I am not the man I once was.

He springs out of bed, flings open the window and sees a boy on the street below.

Scrooge: Boy, what day is it?

Boy: Today? Why, it's Christmas Day.

Scrooge: Christmas Day! I haven't missed it after all. Boy, run down to the Apple Store and buy that iPhone in the window. The one with the picture of Macy Gray on the box.

And Scrooge was as good as his word. He became the biggest supporter of open-source software that the city had ever seen.