You don't have to be filthy rich to leave a will that can tear your family apart.

When planning estates, most people focus on stocks, bonds and real estate, overlooking the one aspect of a will that has the most potential for creating family feuds -- personal property.

The antique dining room set, the diamond engagement ring, the artwork and great-grandmother's silverware can cause brothers and sisters to quit talking to each other if a will is not clear and precise.

"You can't divide a painting or a ring and those are items that cause family disharmony," said Phyllis Silverman, a senior trust adviser and vice president at PNC Wealth Management.

Too often, parents wrongly assume their children will be able to agree on who gets what personal items after they die. But if they can't, it might end up being a lawyer's job. And once lawyers get between siblings there's no telling if or when those wounds will ever heal.

"For reasons that are probably psychological, we all develop attachments to certain things," Ms. Silverman said. "It may be the monetary value. It may be a wonderful diamond ring. But it may also be the candlesticks that are passed down from your great grandmother before they came to America.

"[Personal property] holds a value that connects someone to their ultimate family. And that's priceless."

The Allianz American Legacies Study sponsored by Allianz Life Insurance Co. of North America found that elders underestimate the importance of their nonfinancial legacy to their children.

Over the next several decades, the country will experience the largest intergenerational transfer of wealth in history -- more than $25 trillion -- but only one quarter of baby boomers have discussed legacy and inheritance transfers with their parents.

The lack of communication or the so-called Legacy Gap between boomers and their parents are among the key findings in the Allianz study, which was done in 2005.

That lack of communication may be setting the stage for bad blood among blood relatives when a parent dies. It's a common problem because not everyone looks forward to discussing anything that has to do with death and dying.

Tampa, Fla., lawyer Elizabeth L. Hapner said she almost always includes a provision in her clients' wills that says they can leave a list written and signed by them specifying how various personal items should be distributed.

"That way they can update or change it periodically without the necessity of doing a revision to the will each time they buy or sell a piece of jewelry or artwork," Ms. Hapner said. "A lot of attorneys don't do it, but I always do because it's the easiest and most cost effective way to handle it."

Assets can be passed down through either a will or a living trust. A will is the legal document used to pass property on to beneficiaries or to appoint a guardian for minor children. Living trusts are documents used to transfer property through a trust to beneficiaries outside of probate.

Ms. Silverman said with the holiday season approaching it might be a good idea when families gather to set aside some time and start the difficult conversation.

It would help avoid a situation like the one she saw when a woman whose husband had predeceased her left the house to her children -- a son and daughter who didn't get along. Both decided they wanted the house and drew a line down the middle of the kitchen and through the rest of the house and tried to live that way.

"I've seen a situation where a $5 pizza cutter that mom and grandmom used was wanted by multiple heirs, and it split the family apart," said Doug DeNardo, a partner in the tax, trusts and estates section of Rothman Gordon law firm, Downtown. "It was like the 'War of the Roses.'

"Jewelry, household furniture and tangible personal items oftentimes cause the biggest problems," he said. "I encourage clients to specifically let family members know where personal items should go."