Actually, it was rat racing, as The Fumbler stumbled upon a rat racing ring while pumping gas in Mundys Corner.

Four locals were inside the filling station, setting up a 20-foot-long, four-lane track where the checkers table had been. Each then held up a small cage, gave a pep talk to his rat and gently dropped it behind the starting gate. When a fifth man stepped on the cord outside, designed to signal there was a customer at the pumps, the gate lifted and the race began.

So did the chaos. Terry Han Rat Tee won in 5.7 seconds, followed closely by Vermin Law. The owner of the fourth-place finisher, H. Rat Brown, angrily grabbed his pet, was bitten and had to be hauled to a hospital in Altoona.

The Fumbler left immediately, appalled at what he had observed but gratified there was no gambling and that no laws had yet been enacted against this. Oh, and that Michael Vick was not involved.

A subpar performance last week left The Fumbler feeling less than the Big Cheese. He went 47-17, a lowly .734 percentage. That made his season record 359-100 (.782 pct.).

Here are his thoughts on this weekend's top games:

East Allegheny (6-1 overall, 6-1 in conference) at Jeannette (7-0, 6-0), 7:30 p.m. today -- Jeannette has won its seven games by an average of 54 points. This one won't be that lopsided, but it will still be a Jeannette win. The Jayhawks are 49-3 since 1997, but two of those losses are to East Allegheny. Winner: Jeannette.

Blackhawk (6-1, 4-0) at Montour (7-0, 4-0), 7:30 p.m. today -- Montour is ranked No. 2 in WPIAL Class AAA and Blackhawk is No. 3. The winner clinches first place in the Parkway Conference, and Montour hasn't won a conference title since 1995. Winner: Montour.

Chartiers Valley (6-1, 4-0) at Thomas Jefferson (7-0, 4-0), 7:30 p.m. today -- Chartiers Valley is better than most people think, but it's hard to see anyone winning at Thomas Jefferson. The Jaguars are 31-1 at home since 2002 and haven't lost a home conference game since 2001. Winner: Thomas Jefferson.

Upper St. Clair (5-2, 2-1) at McKeesport (6-1, 3-0), 7:30 p.m. today -- Last year, Upper St. Clair finished first and McKeesport second in the Great Southern Conference. Can you say flip flop? Winner: McKeesport.

Steel Valley (7-0, 6-0) at South Fayette (6-1, 5-1), 7:30 p.m. today -- South Fayette lost its first game of the season last week. It will be a two-game losing streak after this one. Winner: Steel Valley.

Rochester (6-1, 4-0) at Western Beaver (6-1, 4-0), 12:30 p.m. tomorrow -- Can Western Beaver end Rochester's reign of supremacy in the Big Seven Conference? Rochester has won or tied for the conference title three years in a row. Winner: Western Beaver.

And now, the rest (home teams in capital letters).

This afternoon

CITY LEAGUE -- Brashear over Allderdice (Cupples Stadium)

Tonight

CITY LEAGUE -- Perry over Peabody (Cupples Stadium).

WPIAL CLASS AAAA -- (Big East Conference) Gateway over FOX CHAPEL; PENN HILLS over Plum. (Foothills) NORWIN over Connellsville; CENTRAL CATHOLIC over Hempfield; Penn-Trafford over LATROBE. (Great Southern) Bethel Park over MT. LEBANON; BALDWIN over Canon-McMillan. (Northern Five) NORTH HILLS over Erie McDowell; North Allegheny over BUTLER; SHALER over Seneca Valley.

WPIAL CLASS AAA -- (Big Seven) Trinity over KEYSTONE OAKS; West Mifflin over ELIZABETH FORWARD. (Greater Allegheny) HIGHLANDS over Franklin Regional; Hampton over GREENSBURG SALEM; Knoch over INDIANA. (Keystone) Belle Vernon over DERRY; Laurel Highlands over ALBERT GALLATIN; Mount Pleasant over UNIONTOWN. (Parkway) Hopewell over MOON; NEW CASTLE over West Allegheny.

WPIAL CLASS AA -- (Allegheny) Burrell over KITTANNING; FORD CITY over Deer Lakes; VALLEY over Northgate. (Century) Brentwood over CHARLEROI; Seton-LaSalle over SOUTH PARK; South Allegheny over CARLYNTON. (Interstate) McGUFFEY over Brownsville; Greensburg Central Catholic over WAYNESBURG; Washington over SOUTHMORELAND. (Midwestern) Beaver over FREEDOM; BEAVER FALLS over Ellwood City; STO-ROX over New Brighton; ALIQUIPPA over Quaker Valley. (Tri-County North) Cornell over NESHANNOCK; Riverside over LAUREL; MOHAWK over Shenango.

WPIAL CLASS A -- (Big Seven) North Catholic over AVONWORTH. (Black Hills) Beth-Center over FORT CHERRY; Chartiers-Houston over AVELLA; SERRA over Frazier. (Eastern) CLAIRTON over Leechburg; APOLLO-RIDGE over Wilkinsburg. (Tri-County South) California over WEST GREENE; Monessen over MAPLETOWN.

NON-CONFERENCE -- Carmichaels over BENTWORTH; FRANKLIN over Center; Freeport over UNION; WARREN JFK, OHIO, over Langley; SPRINGDALE over Monaca; Peters Township over AMBRIDGE; PINE-RICHLAND over Ringgold; Riverview over CONEMAUGH TOWNSHIP; BURGETTSTOWN over Yough.

Tomorrow afternoon

CITY LEAGUE -- Carrick over Westinghouse (Cupples Stadium).

WPIAL CLASS AA -- (Allegheny) SHADY SIDE ACADEMY over West Shamokin. (Tri-County North) Mars over SUMMIT ACADEMY.

WPIAL CLASS A -- (Tri-County South) Jefferson-Morgan over GEIBEL.

Tomorrow night

WPIAL CLASS A -- (Big Seven) South Side Beaver over BISHOP CANEVIN.