Q: My parents were always secretive about their finances. Since my mother's death three years ago, Dad has allowed a financial adviser, whom he met at a seminar for the elderly, to handle his finances. They talk more times each week than he and I ever talk, and they seem to have a close, personal relationship. I have never met this man, and Dad has never offered to introduce us.

As an only child, Dad's care fell to me when he began failing. Finally, because he did not want to go into an assisted-living facility, he agreed early last year to move in with my wife and me. Because he didn't have a power of attorney for either health care or finances, and because his will was very old, my wife and I convinced him to see a lawyer to prepare these documents, just in case.

Dad refused to give the lawyer any information about his finances. When the lawyer asked permission to speak with his financial adviser, Dad refused and walked out of the office. Dad told my wife later that his adviser had instructed him not to tell the lawyer, or for that matter, anyone about what he owned because they would try to take it away from him. We have never seen a statement from the financial adviser come to the house in the mail, and Dad has no other mailing address. His checking account always has a minimum balance each month, and my wife and I are basically supporting him. The lawyer called and told us that he found that Dad had signed a power of attorney for the adviser that is recorded. Is there anything we can do?

A: The situation you describe is a recipe for disaster. Red flags have been waving in the wind: 1) almost-daily contact with a client by a financial adviser is most unusual and may connote undue influence, especially where the adviser puts on the second hat of a fiduciary under a power of attorney; 2) no statements being sent to your father is unheard of; and 3) telling your father not to discuss finances with you, his lawyer or anyone else is outrageous since financial issues are closely tied to long-term care planning.

Financial advisers in whom elderly persons place their trust should foster and encourage family relationships.

Taking the NextStep: Since your father doesn't appear to be sufficiently incapacitated for you to be appointed as his conservator or guardian, we suggest the following: 1) Go to the probate or surrogate court where your mother's estate was probated and get copies of the estate inventories; these will show you what your mother owned when she died, her life insurance, etc. These records should give you some idea of what your father started with three years ago and may help you learn who this adviser is. 2) If so, then check out the financial adviser. Is he a registered investment adviser? Does he hold insurance and/or securities licenses? Has he had complaints lodged against him? Does he have a criminal record? Much of this information is available as public information, through the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), your state securities agency and your state insurance commission. 3) Have a heart-to-heart talk with your father, telling him about your concerns. Tell him that while you and your wife are certainly willing to continue to help, you expect him to trust you. 4) Consider reporting your concerns to your local adult protective services agency, as it appears to us that there is a good probability that your father may have been taken advantage of by an unscrupulous predator.