It would be hard to embarrass the Pirates further after 15 consecutive losing seasons, but let's try.
To fully appreciate this ineptitude, one must note the historic parity -- yes, parity -- in the National League.
The American League East is still the province of haves and have-nots, but since PNC Park opened in 2001, 12 of the 16 NL teams have made it to the Division Series or a one-game playoff for the wild card. So have nine of 14 AL teams.
Yet the Pirates haven't been close to .500 in any year.
It's not as if great teams stopped them. No team in baseball finished above .600 or below .400 this season. Only one NL team, the Arizona Diamondbacks with baseball's 26th largest payroll, won 90 games this year.
Still the Pirates lost 94 times.
Yes, the Yankees, Red Sox, Angels and Cubs bought their way into October, but the Indians, Padres, Rockies and Diamondbacks have the 23rd through 26th largest payrolls. The Phillies embarrassed the Mets with four-fifths the payroll.
While it's undeniably harder to win without spending lavishly, the Yankees have had an unfair advantage since Babe Ruth first dripped mustard on pinstripes. Get over it. Smart organizations use high draft choices after down years to get back in the hunt.
Watching Ryan Howard and Prince Fielder slug for the Phillies and Brewers, I can't help think what a left-handed, power-hitting first baseman might have done in PNC Park had the Pirates drafted either player in 2001 or 2002 rather than pitchers John Van Benschoten and Bryan Bullington.
Just don't call Pirates owners idiots. The first goal of any business is to make piles of money, and they're doing that. But if there is a quick and dirty analysis of the 2007 season for new general manager Neal Huntington, it is this:
No team can win with a lineup of pretty good hitters but no very good ones, not if it has two very good starting pitchers but no pretty good ones.
The Pirates finished 12th in the NL in runs scored and, not coincidentally, 12th in OPS (on-base average plus slugging average). No Pirates regular slugged above .500. (Slugging average is total bases divided by AB; thus 1 for 4 with a double is .500.)
Among 116 players in the NL with at least 375 plate appearances, the highest ranking Pirate in OPS was Nate McLouth -- at 48th. He was followed by Xavier Nady (50th), Adam LaRoche (52nd), Jack Wilson (59th), Freddy Sanchez (64th), Jose Bautista (80th), Jason Bay (82nd) and Ronny Paulino (97th).
Unlike previous years when Bay would lead with an OBA circa .400 and slug above .500, the ailing Bay hit like a scrub. The past four months were the worst of his career. On the season, he hit .247 with a .327 OBA, slugging .418, the worst OPS among NL left fielders.
There's loose talk in the stands of dealing Bay (at the low point in his trade value, a Pirates tradition.) Putting McLouth in left field and Nyjer Morgan in center would improve a poor defensive outfield, but think of the power cut. Even with this miserable season, Bay has more home runs from age 25 to 28 than any Pirate since Ralph Kiner. (Kiner had 183, Bay 114, Willie Stargell 104.)
The flip side of the hitting story was the rotation. Tom Gorzelanny and Ian Snell made the top of the staff better than most. There might be a dozen or more NL starters who topped them, but few teams could claim two. From there, the staff fell off a cliff.
The young quartet that was pretty good without true standouts in 2006 went in opposite directions. Gorzelanny and Snell excelled; Paul Maholm's season disintegrated when his back went out and Zach Duke had an unhealthy season to forget.
In 64 starts, Snell and Gorzelanny combined for an ERA of 3.82 in a year when NL starters averaged 4.65. Maholm jumped to 5.02 in 29 starts. The remaining 69 starts went to seven pitchers who combined for a 5.91 ERA. Matt Morris, with a 6.10 ERA and three quality starts in 11 trips to the hill, didn't help.
The pitchers changed. Results didn't. As nearly every other NL city takes its ride on the playoff pony, Pirates fans are rightly skeptical a new front office can change this story, but there's no excuse left.