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Woman forms group to make moves easier
Thursday, September 06, 2007

When Amy Holmes moved from her hometown of Alexandria, Va., to Peters two years ago with her husband and 6-month-old daughter, she initially felt isolated and overwhelmed.

"You don't have a support system. You don't know how to get around, then there's finding a doctor and other moms," Mrs. Holmes said.

Now, she's hoping to make that transition easier for other transplants to the area by facilitating a "Moving On After Moving In" group that will meet on Thursdays at Westminster Presbyterian Church in Upper St. Clair. The first meeting of the group will be held at 9:30 a.m. next Thursday. Child care will be provided.

The program, which is being sponsored by Westminster's recreational outreach center, is based on the work of Susan Miller, author of "After the Boxes Are Unpacked: Moving On After Moving In."

The goal of the group is to help women to create friendships and find encouragement as they establish their households in a new area.

According to Ms. Miller's Web site, www.justmoved.org, the Westminster group will be the first in the area and the second in Pennsylvania. The other is at the Grace Brethren Church in Lititz, Lancaster County.

Lisa Boyd, director of the Westminster recreational outreach center, said Mrs. Holmes came to her with the idea for the group, and she thought it would make a good outreach program. Mrs. Holmes heard about it from her sister, who had recently moved to Richmond and found a group there.

"The church is always looking for ways to help meet the needs of people in the community, and there was really nothing out there to meet the needs of those who are new to the community," she said.

Mrs. Boyd said in researching the need for the program, she started to read the deed transfers of communities that her church serves. "I was so surprised. There are so many people buying and selling," she said.

She has sent invitations to people listed in the deed transfers and has announced its formation at church and through flyers to the community.

The group is geared toward women because they often move for their husband's jobs, Mrs. Boyd said. But men won't be turned away from the meetings.

Mrs. Holmes fits into the traditional profile as she moved here when her husband, Russell, a lieutenant commander and executive officer of the Marine Safety Unit of the U.S. Coast Guard, was transferred to Pittsburgh. As a military wife, she knows there will be other transfers in the family's future.

For Mrs. Holmes, the move to Peters included two adjustments -- living in a new town and leaving a full-time career to be a stay-at-home mom. In Alexandria, she worked as a vice president of communications for a trade association and lived near her mother, who helped to watch her infant daughter.

When she moved she said she found support from another Coast Guard wife whose family had recently moved here, from people at Westminster Church and from other women in her neighborhood who invited her to join a play group even though her daughter was an infant.

"I was extremely proactive in getting settled, but I've heard from others that it take six months to a year before people feel at home," she said.

Ms. Miller's work includes a term called Moving Affective Disorder, which refers in part to the loneliness, isolation and sense of hopelessness that can follow a move. It's a topic that the group will discuss.

Westminster will provide group participants with a supply of Ms. Miller's book and a workbook that goes with it. Other topics that will be covered are: Remember the past, but look forward to the future; dealing with loneliness; finding your lost identity; and finding contentment in your circumstances.

Mrs. Boyd said she would like participants to register before the meeting.

To register, go to www.westminster-church.org or call 412-835-6630, ext. 224.



First published on September 6, 2007 at 6:33 am
Mary Niederberger can be reached at mniederberger@post-gazette.com or 412-851-1512.
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