Q: We bring our kids (1 and 3) to church each week. If they fuss, we bring them to the back, or outside so other people won't be disturbed. But many parents just let their kids scream and cry. I don't think that's good for the kids or anyone in church! What do you think?

A: The answer lies with the individual church and the individual parents.

Many churches welcome the sounds of children during the service. They believe that children are full participants in the congregation, and having them present -- whether they're quiet or noisy -- affirms the value of children and families.

Other churches prefer that services be quiet so that people can pray and meditate in peace. Some of those churches have parents' rooms just off the sanctuary, with rocking chairs and speakers so parents can soothe children and still hear the service. Other churches have staffed nurseries so children can play safely while their parents attend the service.

Many parents who choose to keep children with them during the service bring along a bag of quiet activities to occupy the kids. (Some churches actually provide activity bags.)

In any case, if children fuss noisily at church, the parents have to decide what's right for their family, for others present at the service, and for their church.