Parenting 4 Kids Nationally accredited, 4 Kids Early Learning Network serves children and families throughout the Mon Valley. Through this column, 4 Kids staff members answer reader questions about raising children in the critical early years. E-mail questions for consideration to: questions@4kidsearlyed.org, or mail to: 4 Kids Questions, 445 Fourth St., Braddock, PA 15104.

Q: My 3-year-old daughter has started to fib. She'll say her baby brother (3 months old) did something she actually did, or she'll say she ate all her lunch when she didn't. It's not a big deal now but I don't want her to grow up thinking lying is OK.

A: Many experts say that lying is a normal part of a preschooler's development, and kids that age don't truly understand that it's wrong not to tell the truth.

Young kids generally distort the truth in two major ways. They tell tall tales, made-up stories that contain great exaggerations. Or they lie to get something they want or avoid something they don't want.

When a child tells a tall tale, listen to the story without saying "That's not true." Instead, interject some reality. If, for instance, your little girl says she can ride her tricycle 100 miles an hour, you can tell her that would be much faster than your car, and it would make her legs hurt.

In the case of flat-out lying, use the occasion to teach lessons. For example, if your daughter says it was her baby brother who wrote on the wall, tell her you know he couldn't have because he can't get out of his baby seat. Then talk to her about the importance of honesty, and how happy and proud of her it makes you feel when she tells the truth.

When your little girl lies, avoid becoming angry -- and don't make a big deal of it. That will promote defensiveness and further lying; it will also make it harder to determine the truth. Stay calm and stress the long-term benefits of honesty.

Consider reading your daughter some books about telling the truth. Two good ones: "The Berenstain Bears and the Truth" by Stan and Jan Berenstain, and "I'm Telling the Truth: A First Look at Honesty" by Pat Thomas and Lesley Harker.

And remember: Parents can help prevent kids' lying by being good role models. Always be honest (in age-appropriate ways, of course) with your children.