Q: You wrote about "stranger danger" in a recent column. But what about danger from people children know? I think that's a problem, too.

		Parenting 4 Kids Nationally accredited, 4 Kids Early Learning Network serves children and families throughout the Mon Valley. Through this column, 4 Kids staff members answer reader questions about raising children in the critical early years. E-mail questions for consideration to: questions@4kidsearlyed.org, or mail to: 4 Kids Questions, 445 Fourth St., Braddock, PA 15104.

A: You're right, and we thank you -- and several other readers -- for raising that issue.

"Stranger danger" is real, and parents need to tell kids about it, but statistics show that family members, friends, and acquaintances can also pose a threat to children. In fact, the great majority -- possibly 80 percent -- of the people who prey on kids aren't strangers at all.

How can adults help children avoid "non-stranger danger"? Here are some tips:

Make sure you know the people your children associate with. Check references and make unannounced visits when your child is in the care of an adult or an older child.

Think carefully about adults or older children who want to spend time alone with your child. There may be positive and loving reasons, but it's a potential red flag. If you have doubts, follow your instincts and don't allow the "alone time."

Remember that people in all walks of life -- even the most trusted professions -- can potentially harm children.

The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children says parents should educate children using clear, calm messages about potentially dangerous situations and actions. The Center's former director, Mayo Clinic pediatrician Dr. Daniel Broughton, says, "Children need to learn skills and confidence, not fear and avoidance."

To that end, talk with your child about healthy boundaries, appropriate and inappropriate touching, what's OK for the people in their lives to do -- and what it's OK for them to ask a child to do.

Stress that most people are trustworthy, but teach your child how to say no if he or she feels threatened or even uncomfortable. Kids can start by being polite -- but safety trumps courtesy, and, if need be, they should step away, yell "NO," and seek help.

Make sure your child knows it's OK to tell you absolutely anything. Of course, kids don't always do that, so use all your active listening and observation skills, and be sensitive to changes in your child's behaviors and attitudes.

A Pittsburgh-area nonprofit organization called SafetyKids suggests making this rule for children: "Check first before you go anywhere with anyone." For more tips for parents and kids, visit www.safetykids.org.