Money.

A recap of the NHL awards show.

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Before we begin, the reason the show wasn't shown live in this country was a CBC truck nearly caught fire and screwed everything up. We're leaving in the parts of today's post were we blame the NHL and Versus because it illustrates how we felt last night. Our apologies to the NHL and Versus for blaming them for the problem. That said, neither has a sterling track record in regards issues like these, so it's understandable why they would be thought of as the culprits in this.

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PREGAME

7:03 p.m.: We turn on our television and are greeted by some mixed martial arts training show with Chuck Liddell. Our program guide says the awards show should be on right now. We're not sure whose fault this is, so we'll just blame Comcast.

7:05: The faux pas allows us a chance to run to Subway.

7:30: The show is supposed to actually begin at 7:30, according to NHL.com. Yet we're still watching mixed martial arts. CBC says 8 p.m. And whoever said this league was garage league?

7:38: A NHL promotional commercial teases us into thinking they finally switched over, but no dice.

7:41: The NHL should just give trying to be televised. A scrolling message now tells us "The NHL Awards show previously scheduled for 7 p.m. et, will now be seen at 11 p.m. et..." This is absolutely pathetic. Why did Gary Bettman get a raise again?

7:49: We gave Versus a phone call and automatically we are greeted with a message telling us Versus is the home of World Extreme Cagefighting.

7:50: Calling Versus' "customer service" number results in getting disconnected.

8:13: Calling Versus' corporate offices results in getting disconnected.

8:45-10:15: Perhaps someone at HBO felt the pain of American hockey fans. The best movie ever about playing roller hockey in Cincinnati, "Airborne" is on. It alleviates our rage somewhat.

10:01: How depressing is it on the night Sidney Crosby wins the first of possibly many MVP awards in his career, most American hockey fans are talking about the NHL's ineptitude?

10:06: We guess the 59 of us that do get Versus now know how the rest of America feel when they want to watch NHL programming.

11:00: The night just gets better. We turn Versus on at 11 p.m. like we the scroll told us to and a boxing match is on.

11:02: The scroll is back. "Coming up next: NHL Awards show???"

11:05: The boxing feed goes totally black with just audio.

11:14: A broadcast set to start at 7 p.m. and delayed to 11 p.m. Finally starts. Way to go NHL.

11:15: Kelly Hrudey sighting! Excellent.

11:16: Hrudey talks about growing the game and selling players personalities. What better way to do it than air your program at 11:14 p.m. on an obscure fishing channel?

11:17: With Cam Neely lurking behind him, Sidney Crosby is interviewed by a chubby bald Barenaked Lady.

11:18: Hrudey asks Martin Brodeur if he's nervous. As he endlessly fidgets with a marker for autographs, Brodeur says, "Not really."

11:22: As Roberto Luongo is interviewed, we see Michel Therrien wearing perhaps the finest suit he's ever worn.

11:25: Luongo pretty much says he's not going to win anything. As long as he's optimistic.

11:31: Canadian celebrities greasing are each other's palms as Tom Cavanaugh of "Ed" and the chubby, bald Barenaked Lady are talking it up. This is a lot like watching Blawnox celebrities going at it.

11:32: Jordan Staal gets some face time and professes his love for Finger Eleven. The CBC reporter interviewing Staal, Scott Oake, can't remember Paul Stastny's name.

11:39: Oake screws up again and says Vincent Lecavalier won the Art Ross Trophy for leading the league in goal-scoring. Wrong. The Art Ross goes to the leading point scorer. The Richard Trophy goes to the leading scorer. Oake does correct himself a few seconds later, but geez. Nothing like being prepared.

11:42 p.m.: Hrudey hits on Trish Stratus.

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SHOWTIME

11:44: As the show begins to some obscure Canadian band named The Trews butchering Tom Petty's "Running Down A Dream" the camera is panning through the audience and we can see many people still haven't taken a seat yet. This thing is a train wreck.

11:53: As footage of Jaromir Jagr laughing from award shows past is shown, Ron MacLean, the host, asks why Jagr was was laughing. "I don't know what I said that was so funny. I probably said, 'backchecking.'" Good one.

11:54: MacLean cuts his lame monologue short by saying, "NBC's cutting to a horse race. Let's get on with this."

11:56: Sami Pahlson, Chris Pronger and Scott Niedermayer of the Ducks are on hand with the Stanley Cup.

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LESTER B. PEARSON AWARD (NHLPA MVP)

11:58: Stephen Harper, Canada's prime minister presents the Pearson Trophy. Crosby, Lecavalier and Luongo are up for it.

12:00 a.m.: Crosby wins it. He congratulates "Marty and Vinny" for being nominated. Did he mean Martin Brodeur instead of Luongo? Even he's screwing this thing up.

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MAURICE RICHARD TROPHY (Leading Goal-Scoring Trophy)

12:06: Lecavalier is formally introduced as the Richard Trophy winner.

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FRANK J. SELKE TROPHY (Defensive Forward)

12:08: Doug Gilmour and Frank Selke, Jr. present the award. Rod Brind'Amour, Pahlsson and Jay Pandolfo are up for it.

12:10: Brind 'Amour? Surprising. We picked Pahlsson. Brind'Amour makes a classy move and congratulates the Ducks for winning the Cup. He also points out that one of his kids is bugging him for an Alexander Ovechkin jersey.

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BILL MASTERTON MEMORIAL TROPHY (Comeback award)

12:13: Sea Bass presents the award.

12:14: Phil Kessel, who dealt with testicular cancer this season, is given the award. A perfect choice.

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CALDER MEMORIAL TROPHY (Rookie of the Year)

12:20: Dale Hawerchuk and William Fitchner present this award. Fitchner, a Sabres fan, gives the Winnipeg Jets some love. Evgeni Malkin, Staal and Stastny are up for the award

12:21: Malkin wins the award. Therrien claims it. Therrien says he left a message Russian and English for Malkin to come to the show. "So I guess my Russian and English is not too good." Therrien gives some props to Staal and Stastny.

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ART ROSS TROPHY (Leading point scorer)

12:25: Crosby is formally introduced as the winner. MacLean pretty much gives away Crosby will be winning the MVP by telling Crosby he's got another speech to give.

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LADY BYNG MEMORIAL TROPHY (Sportsmanship)

12:26: Shaye, a Canadian pop band, presents this award. Pavel Datsyuk, Joe Sakic and Martin St. Louis are up for the award.

12:29: Datsyuk wins and Red Wings general manager Ken Holland is there to collect. Datsyuk had prior obligations and made the right decision to avoid this disaster of a show.

12:33 A Cleveland Barons reference. Awesome.

12:34: Finger Eleven gets the stage which gives us a chance to do something other than watch Finger Eleven. You can if you want to.

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ALL-STAR TEAMS

12:39: Some stars from a Canadian sitcom (boy there's an oxymoron) present the first team All-Stars, Crosby, Ovechkin, Dany Heatley, Niedermayer, Nicklas Lidstrom and Brodeur are the team. The first and second teams can be viewed here.

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KING CLANCY MEMORIAL AWARD (Community Involvement)

12:42: The Canadiens team doctor? He qualifies as a Canadian celebrity? Geez.

12:45: Saku Koivu gets the award for his work with non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, an illness he's dealt with. Koivu isn't there for the award so Dr. David Mulder, the Canadiens doctor, accepts it.

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JACK ADAMS AWARD (Coach of the Year)

12:46: Pat Quinn is giving it out? That's like Ike Turner giving out a husband of the year award.

12:47: Shane Doan shows up to co-present it. Lindy Ruff, Therrien and Alain Vigneault are the finalists.

12:48: Vigneault claims it. Therrien immediately regrets splurging on his wardrobe for the first time ever. By the looks of things, it appears you get the big version of the trophy that goes to each coach that win the award and a miniature version you get to keep permanently.

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WILLIAM M. JENNINGS TROPHY (Fewest Goals Against)

12:51: Nicklas Backstrom and Manny Fernandez of the Minnesota Wild are formally presented as the winners of the trophy.

12:52: Hall of Fame goaltender Gump Worsley, who passed away earlier this year, is honored.

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JAMES NORRIS MEMORIAL TROPHY (Best Defenseman)

12:55: Cavanaugh and former Penguin Larry Murphy present this one. Pronger, Niedermayer and Lidstrom are the nominees. Cavanaugh busts out a great stat and points no one else this century has won the Norris Trophy.

12:57: Lidstrom claims his fifth Norris Trophy.

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VEZINA TROPHY (Best Goaltender)

12:59: Stratus and George Stroumboulopoulos, a Canadian telelvision personality are the presenters for this award and segue it by making some long, lame joke about Greek last names. Former Penguin Tom Kostopoulos not amused. Luongo, Brodeur, Henrik Lundqvist and Miikka Kiprusoff are the nominees.

1:02: Brodeur claims it.

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HART MEMORIAL TROPHY (NHL MVP)

1:07: Who better than Gordie Howe to give this one out? That said, Howe looks like he's wearing a tuxedo from when he last won this award back in 1963. Brodeur, Crosby and Luongo are the finalists.

1:10: Crosby wins it. He gives Brodeur and Luongo props for being nominated. Troy Crosby, his father, looks like he's either sweating or crying.

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POSTGAME

Shelly Anderson's recap.

At some point during the show, MacLean said Jim Balsillie had bought the Elgin Theatre, the location of the show, and joked that the rest of it would be held in Kitchner, Ont.

James Mirtle rounded up the voting totals for the awards.

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EMPTY NETTER ASSISTS

Malkin and Staal are named to the all-rookie team.

The Penguins change their Web site to the new, bland, generic universal NHL template. The old Web site is still available.

The Lightning is trying to corner the high-profile flop market it looks like. A day after trading for former top prospect-turned-journeyman Chris Gratton, they sign former Rangers, Canucks, Hurricanes bust Jan Hlavac. No word if Milan Kraft is waiting by his phone.

The Canadiens re-sign forward Christopher Higgins and defensemen Mike Komisarek.

The Penguins are given development rights to some more property.

Ottawa Senators forward/defenseman Christoph Schubert is in a little hot water with the po-po.

The Bruins fire head coach Dave Lewis.

Hamilton Predator ticket sales have already netted $6.25 million.

Some hockey fans in Nashville aren't going down with out a fight. The Nashville Post is reporting a group of businessmen are trying to put together a potential ownership proposal if Balsillie's bid fails.

The Blue Jackets will unveil their new jerseys next Friday at the draft.

The Hockey Hall of Fame is running a Stanley Cup blog that will chronicle the Cup's travels this summer with the Ducks. Sean O'Donnell's dog appears to have already gotten good use out of it.