Parenting 4 Kids Nationally accredited, 4 Kids Early Learning Network serves children and families throughout the Mon Valley. Through this column, 4 Kids staff members answer reader questions about raising children in the critical early years. E-mail questions for consideration to: questions@4kidsearlyed.org, or mail to: 4 Kids Questions, 445 Fourth St., Braddock, PA 15104.

Q: My 4-year-old niece can write her name and many letters. My son who just turned 4 is unable to write his name. Is he behind? Should I be concerned?

A: This is a case of "apples and oranges," because at this age, girls are generally ahead in fine motor skills such as writing, while boys are generally ahead in gross motor skills such as jumping.

In addition, every child is different, with his or her own timetable -- so one-on-one comparisons usually aren't productive.

However, there are things you can do to develop your son's abilities.

For 4-year-olds, we don't recommend "skill-and-drill" activities or flashcards. We do recommend developmentally appropriate and meaningful learning.

For example, provide lots of writing opportunities with different kinds of paper and implements such as colored pencils, washable markers, dry-erase boards and markers, glitter pens, and other fun things. Even doodling without proper letter formation is helpful -- but you can, if you like (and if he enjoys it), lightly pencil letters on sheets of paper, and he can use his art supplies to trace over and embellish them in whatever creative ways he chooses.

Provide opportunities for him to see words. Read books together, pointing out letters and words -- and even point them out as you're driving with him. Put his name up in his room in big letters -- wooden ones or ones you cut out together from construction paper -- and, as you help him dress each morning, spell his name.

Remember to use positive reinforcement as he learns; these opportunities should be fun, not stressful, for the child.

You might consider a quality early learning program for your son, because such programs help kids develop their skills. The Web site of the National Association for the Education of Young Children (www.naeyc.org) lists accredited programs.

Within a few months, if you continue to feel your son may be behind, please consult his pediatrician. Good luck!