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Collier: For NFL commissioner, it's already the dog days of summer
Thursday, May 31, 2007

A year ago at the start of summer, Roger Goodell was a decorated NFL career officer and a candidate for the top job at what is widely considered the best corporate brand in professional sports. Life was good. Now he is commissioner Goodell, and a good day is when someone in the league passes a lie detector test.

It has actually been an up and down week overall for Roger, if possibly a little light on the up.

ESPN, one of his league's great facilitators, spent a sickening portion of the holiday weekend running video of pit bulls trying to kill each other as part of an exclusive segment purporting to link Michael Vick, one of the league's marquee quarterbacks, to dogfighting.

Then the Denver Broncos announced that wide receiver David Kircus, whom head coach Mike Shanahan had vowed to release if it was determined that he'd sent a guy to the hospital with a broken face, had passed a lie detector test "with flying colors."

Then the players union advised Goodell they'd be supporting Pac-Man Jones in his efforts to have his one-year suspension reduced, even though yes, on the night before he was to meet with Goodell to explain his role in a strip club shooting that left one man paralyzed, Jones visited another strip club, and even though yes, a week after telling Goodell he was self-imposing a midnight curfew, Jones was pulled over for speeding at 12:45 a.m., and even though yes, by getting himself questioned by police in at least 10 separate incidents, Jones is, I believe, closing in on the all-time record held by Mike Tyson.

I picture Goodell in his Park Avenue office, spinning his chair toward the windows, closing his eyes and longing for the days when all the league had to do to keep your attention in the early summer was to announce the next departure of the Ricky Williams Shuttle to or from the Physically Unable To Refrain From Smoking Dope List.

June now brings a mandatory symposium for rookies on an entire spectrum of subjects aimed at helping them comply with the league's personal conduct policy, but Goodell knows they're already familiar with it. Sometimes he wonders if some of the vets haven't mistaken the prohibitions in the personal conduct policy for an offseason training regimen -- violence, domestic violence, abuse, theft, sex offenses, resisting arrest, disorderly conduct, fraud, money laundering, steroids, prohibited substances, guns in the workplace, guns possessed unlawfully outside the workplace, and anything else that might come under the big umbrella he calls "conduct detrimental to the integrity of and public confidence in the National Football League."

If you think Goodell has some hyperventilated view of the league's integrity issues relating to public confidence, note that he recently found himself writing this into the preamble of the personal conduct policy:

"There will be mandatory briefings each year for all players and clubs given by local law enforcement representatives. These briefings will cover laws pertaining to possession of guns, drinking and driving, domestic disputes, and other matters, including gang-related activities in the community that could be of significance to players, coaches, and other club-related personnel."

Yeah I put the italics in there, just because I can't believe we're at the point where we can't responsibly field a professional football team without first providing the relevant particulars of local gang mayhem to players averaging more than $1.4 million a year. But I guess that's just me.

You know it's going badly for the commish when he can't even escape to a copy of Dog Fancy magazine because the current issue's cover boy is an American pit bull terrier.

I imagine the commish, with an uncomfortable sense of obligation, flipping to the glowing feature article on the pit bull, poring over the descriptions "outgoing and self-confident," "medium sized but powerful," "radiating athleticism" and thinking, "Wait, isn't this what it says about Vick in the Falcons' media guide?"

Then I imagine him batting out an e-mail, not to the Falcons, but to Dog Fancy magazine:

Dear DF,

Enjoyed your piece on the fun-loving American pit bull terrier but couldn't help but notice it was just a few pages in front of the classified ads that include available pits bulls from Bullyhouse Kennels, Ruthlessbluepits, Backwoods pits, Barbarian Kennels, Landbeast Kennels, and one ad featuring some guy standing in front of a stockpile of military weapons with an explosion in the background and a line of pit bulls under the heading: "We breed for temperament!"

It appears Clinton Portis isn't the only one slightly conflicted on the dogfighting issue.

What gives?

Yours,

Roger

So not yet a year into his tenure, the commissioner is ever restless with issues way more serious than he might have imagined or even deserves. Here's to his occasional good night's sleep, and that elusive dream of the day when the only time he'll see Pac-Man Jones and Michael Vick and Chris Henry and Tank Johnson is in their destined spots as ESPN studio analysts.

First published on May 30, 2007 at 11:31 pm
Gene Collier can be reached at gcollier@post-gazette.com or 412-263-1283.