Ed Yozwick, Post-Gazette Click photo for larger image.

A: We suggest that you request an adults-only meeting at which you can talk in depth with your daughter's teacher, the center's director, and the center's social worker (if it has one).

At the meeting, try to determine whether there's a pattern to the behaviors.

For example, do the behaviors escalate at nap time, or circle time?

If, for instance, it's circle time, perhaps your daughter isn't able to sit for that long.

If you see a pattern, discuss strategies to combat the negative behaviors, focusing on your daughter's strengths, not her weaknesses.

		Parenting 4 Kids Nationally accredited, 4 Kids Early Learning Network serves children and families throughout the Mon Valley. Through this column, 4 Kids staff members answer reader questions about raising children in the critical early years. E-mail questions for consideration to: questions@4kidsearlyed.org, or mail to: 4 Kids Questions, 445 Fourth St., Braddock, PA 15104.

For instance, if circle time provokes the problem and if your daughter does well with active roles, perhaps she could be a "helper" with specific tasks to carry out.

Be sure to talk about how the strategies you create together can be modified for home so you can support what's being done in the classroom.

We suggest giving the strategies a couple of weeks -- and then having another team meeting to assess progress.

Here are a couple of further thoughts:

Instead of phone calls home when there are problems, the teacher could do a daily sheet that lists any negative behaviors -- and also any positive things your daughter did that day. You can discuss the sheet with your little girl (depending on how old she is).

Talk with the director to make sure there's agreement that, during the school day, the teachers are the authority figures -- not just people who call home to ask you to deal with the problem.

Good communication with parents is of course a necessity -- but classroom management is an internal issue, and constantly calling a parent is not a long-term solution. (You'll want to make sure that, at home with your child, you reinforce the concept of the teacher as the classroom authority.)

If you and the center's staff together can't resolve the negative behaviors, you might want to consult a specialist. That could benefit everyone.